What is your life like.? Are you happy, are you sad? Do you have a lot of friends ,or only a few? Think about the friends you do have ,can you sit down with them and talk about God for hours or do you talk about other people and their faults, or about the weather, or personal things. True friends or not? Can you talk to them about personal things and never worry that they might divulge your personal life to all their friends. My guess is if you can sit and talk to them about other people and their problems , they will do the same about you with their friends and you will do the same also.
I was sitting here thinking about this whole friend thing. Am I a good friend? Not so sure about that. I hardly ever call my friends, and when I do it seems I talk about the weather or something uninteresting and definitely not personal. I seem to have built this wall up around myself to make sure no one really knows who I am or what I was thinking. I am truly trying to change that. Especially with my brothers and sisters in Christ. If I can't go to my spiritual family and talk candidly about the problem I have and ask for prayer , who am I supposed to go to? I am tired of being fake and acting if everything is ok and good and fine and all the other adjectives we use.
For example the other weekend at church camp we had a wonderful time studying the Word and chatting with friends about Christ. We divided up into groups of three or four and would spend several times a day in prayer and Bible study. One evening the speakers said tonight we are doing something different. He gave each of us a paper and told us to write on it our deepest and darkest struggles that we have in our spiritual life. Then he said when we get into our groups that we should each exchange the papers.
I was excited about it thinking it would be a way to expose some of my problems to my brothers in Christ and we could pray for them. BUT NO, at this point we were to just hold the paper in our hand and not look at it , and then say a pray for the person not knowing what the problem was. What was that????? Suppose in real life I have a problem I want you to help me with , say a leaking drain pipe. So I have you come to my house to help me, but when you get there with all your tools I just give you a note telling you the problem but of course you where not to look at the folded note but guess what the problem was and hopefully help get it fixed. . Seems really dumb when you put it like that.
I was struck with the thought then that we don't trust each other is it possible to really love some one and not trust them? Not for me really. If I can't trust some one how could I love them and expose my life struggles to them. Thats when I asked myself , what kind of friend am I ? Not a very good one. Am I always there ready to listen and never judge ? Am I willing to hear all of your problems and let you hear all of mine without ever doubting that you or I would never say anything to another person ?
Christ tells us that people of the world will know us by our love for each other, and I think we would all say we love each other, yet is anyone willing to stop and listen to the other person and never ever speak of what they have heard to anyone else. Or willing to tell their problems to a brother or sister and not worry about them repeating it to some one else in a negative way. Its easy to say we love but does anyone ever think of the consequences of gossip. What does the Bible say about gossip? It isn't gossip and ye shall inherit eternal life. NOPE Gossip is sin.
But how do I treat that bit of information? I tend to worry about the outward signs that are seen by men, I try to dress modestly, I live frugally, I go to church every Sunday, and possibly gossip a little here and there. But its nothing really bad , it just seemed funny that so and so drove that red car, dont they know that red is a bad color. Or so and so didn't look at me when they walked out of church today they must be feeling guilty or dislike me. On and on just little things , I can justify them as only joking whatever, but in truth its gossip and its sin and the consequences of sin are?
So I must learn all the lame jokes , the stories, its all going down as gossip and sin in the Lords eyes. I suppose if I can't say it to the person it shouldn't be said at all. Right?
My conclusion is this. I'm an old , grouchy, fat guy, that is negative, depressed, doesn't really understand love, that gets irritated at clicking noises like clocks and people eating loudly. I feel like I was cheated through life when reality is I caused my own problems. I am to analytical about everything,thinking I have to understand it all. I make fun of practically everything , including myself.
On the other hand I am usually kind and like to help people, I love the Lord more than anything else, I like animals as long as the don't crawl on their bellies. (snakes) I like to cook and enjoy music and chatting about God and His word.
No more fake anything for me I want to deal with the real part of life. Lets find God's will for our lives and be friends and brothers and sisters , love God and work together instead of tearing each other down. I am going to do it. No trying allowed. I must do it so when a person sees me they will say I want what that guy has, not that guy is a rude grumpy old man. : ) So if you want to be my friend thats great, you'll probably hear more than you want about my life and I hope to hear about yours so we can form a band of people praying for each other and grow in the Lord and conquer satan.
Your friend and brother in Christ Love to all
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Life at the Yoders
Hi to all my long lost friends. Ever have a month that seems every direction you turn is a dead end. Speaking mostly of my job of course. I say that and yet I have a bunch of really nice tools sitting in storage waiting for me to do something. I have a good friend who is helping me set them up in a nice shop. I'm thinking about building artistic furniture , kids stuff and other strange little things to sell. I know I won't make much but will have time to go where ever the Lord calls me. Which is the most important to me. If anyone has any great ideas of things that might sell good let me know. I'm making a list so ideas are welcome. I can't promise that you be paid royalties for the idea though.
The other job I was thinking about doing is on hold because the mans pancreas stopped working and he has been in the hospital for almost a month. And at this point I feel it isn't where God wants me , even though they keep calling. Not real sure why God made it so clear to me to let my car go other than saving me from a possible law suit, They say it has been traded for a Jeep Grand Cherokee but who knows I have never seen it or any money so I'm at a loss of what to do about that. Maybe when the guy gets out of the hospital something will happen.
So that is my life. I'm here at home with my mother , whom I love very much . I have a rather cushy life which I don't deserve but am glad for. I'm trying to raise all my own plants for the garden from seed and it seems that I not much of a green thumb. Why would plants grow up about an inch tall and then for no reason just fall over and die. Or other ones have got an inch or two high and it looks like someone to a pair of scissors and just snipped them off. Who would do that and why. I'm thinking its little gnomes or some little creature comes in at night and set their little ladders up and then the brave ones climb up with a pair of scissors and snip them off , then they run off laughing like they have one the battle. But don't worry I setting traps for them. I baked little tiny cookies to bait them with. Sadly I haven't caught any yet.
Sorry I haven't had enough coffee yet. Oh yes I have chickens now. I purchased six little bundles of fluff about a month and a half ago. They were to be six hens . So I named them all accordingly, Agnes who grew much faster than the rest and seemed extra bossy actually turned out to be Bob. He is a handsome little guy and has developed the large comb on his head. So he feels quite cocky we would say. Then there is Edna , she is slightly smaller than Bob and has a sweet personality . She has a ravenous appetite and is usually the first one to the food. Then Erma , is bossy,she pecks everyone and makes sure she is seen and heard. I'm just naming them in the order of their size. Then Gladys she is a little strange, very shy, and scared of everything, scared to eat worms or anything other than regular chicken food, and doesn't come when she is called. Thelma is next , she is very small and goes everywhere at a 100mph. She flies from high places and does a combination flutter and run that looks like a horse galloping on three legs. She loves worms and slugs and everytime I pick up a shovel she there looking for worms. For as much as she eats I would think she would be enormous. Last there is Louise, she was injured when she was small and took two weeks to heel. Therefore she feels she need extra care and help with everything. Wants to be carried often and hangs around my feet and often almost gets stepped on. They sleep in the garage at night and early morning they fly out of their cage and make messes all over the floor. So I'm desperately trying to finish the outdoor roost.
Well thats all the news from around here. Next time I'll tell you my spiritual experiences in the last month. Some pretty crazy things are happening and I have a lot of questions as to what people think about my experiences. Have a wonderful week in living in Gods love
The other job I was thinking about doing is on hold because the mans pancreas stopped working and he has been in the hospital for almost a month. And at this point I feel it isn't where God wants me , even though they keep calling. Not real sure why God made it so clear to me to let my car go other than saving me from a possible law suit, They say it has been traded for a Jeep Grand Cherokee but who knows I have never seen it or any money so I'm at a loss of what to do about that. Maybe when the guy gets out of the hospital something will happen.
So that is my life. I'm here at home with my mother , whom I love very much . I have a rather cushy life which I don't deserve but am glad for. I'm trying to raise all my own plants for the garden from seed and it seems that I not much of a green thumb. Why would plants grow up about an inch tall and then for no reason just fall over and die. Or other ones have got an inch or two high and it looks like someone to a pair of scissors and just snipped them off. Who would do that and why. I'm thinking its little gnomes or some little creature comes in at night and set their little ladders up and then the brave ones climb up with a pair of scissors and snip them off , then they run off laughing like they have one the battle. But don't worry I setting traps for them. I baked little tiny cookies to bait them with. Sadly I haven't caught any yet.
Sorry I haven't had enough coffee yet. Oh yes I have chickens now. I purchased six little bundles of fluff about a month and a half ago. They were to be six hens . So I named them all accordingly, Agnes who grew much faster than the rest and seemed extra bossy actually turned out to be Bob. He is a handsome little guy and has developed the large comb on his head. So he feels quite cocky we would say. Then there is Edna , she is slightly smaller than Bob and has a sweet personality . She has a ravenous appetite and is usually the first one to the food. Then Erma , is bossy,she pecks everyone and makes sure she is seen and heard. I'm just naming them in the order of their size. Then Gladys she is a little strange, very shy, and scared of everything, scared to eat worms or anything other than regular chicken food, and doesn't come when she is called. Thelma is next , she is very small and goes everywhere at a 100mph. She flies from high places and does a combination flutter and run that looks like a horse galloping on three legs. She loves worms and slugs and everytime I pick up a shovel she there looking for worms. For as much as she eats I would think she would be enormous. Last there is Louise, she was injured when she was small and took two weeks to heel. Therefore she feels she need extra care and help with everything. Wants to be carried often and hangs around my feet and often almost gets stepped on. They sleep in the garage at night and early morning they fly out of their cage and make messes all over the floor. So I'm desperately trying to finish the outdoor roost.
Well thats all the news from around here. Next time I'll tell you my spiritual experiences in the last month. Some pretty crazy things are happening and I have a lot of questions as to what people think about my experiences. Have a wonderful week in living in Gods love
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Greatest Love
Happy Easter everyone. After eating turkey and ham and all the fixin's it kinda makes you loose track of what the holiday is commemorating .
Well the meal is over and everyone is gone home. I've slept off the DHT or whatever it is in turkey that makes you sleepy and now I'm thinking clearly. Well clearly for me that is.
I been sitting here imagining what it might have been like to be on earth when Jesus was here, Do you suppose he had lots of friends when he was growing up? I was thinking if I was a neighbor and grew up with him. What was he like? Do you think he was serious all the time or was he like a normal child ? I'm guessing he was an extremely intelligent child, in order for him to go into the temple and teach the teachers of the day. At an early age he knew he had to be doing his Fathers business . Do you suppose he understood that he would only live a short time and then be rejected and beaten and crucified? I'm guessing he knew and was constantly burdened about the people around him and how they needed salvation. A once and for all sacrifice that would completely satisfy God's requirements to atone for sin.
Until this time there where nothing more than rituals and commands to follow that did not rid us of sin completely. The sacrifices were made from animals and never fulfilled Gods requirements.
Can you imagine the weight that Jesus carried around on his shoulders. His love had to be the most intense love ever known . I think of my self today could I grow up thinking and /or knowing that some day in the near future I would need to die for some one to pay the sacrifice for all the terrible things they had ever done . Even though I had never done anything wrong. And then on top of that the person I had died for didn't want to accept my gift, of love and life.
I think about that and think about myself getting upset about someone not liking what I had done or laughing at a mistake I had made. yet Jesus grew up knowing that a lot of the people he was friends with would reject him and his gift of love. Did that stop him from loving ? Not a chance, he loved all the more. Its very difficult for me to think of him first of all lowering himself to become a human and then to suffer all the degradation, hate ,and abuse that he endured. Yet he never turned away from us.
I was reading somewhere a while back about Jesus in his prayer in the garden when he sweat drops of blood. There is actually a medical term for that when a person becomes so intense, from things like fear, sorrow, and other emotions that the capillaries in the skin can burst and cause them to bleed through their sweat. How many of us have been that burdened? How many of us have loved that strongly? None. Of course just because we don't sweat drops of blood doesn't mean we aren't burdened or loving.
I did a little test today just to see how people felt and what was the main thing on their minds. I sat and listened as much as possible , to see what would be said in thanks to Jesus and our Father for their gift of love and life that we were to remember on Easter. Well the answer was nothing. I don't know maybe 15 or 20 people and the mentions of Jesus' gift, " zero."
I'm just as bad as anyone else, I know , how can I learn to make this all more real in my life? Every thing is about the weather , about how work is going , and who did what and who said what. I know I sound like a goody two shoe but I don't care. Jesus is coming back and this time I'm going to be there to meet him also. So if I'm spending all my time thinking about things other than him can I expect him to be watching for me when he returns?
Today was a good day and I'm not complaining about it , I just wish we could spend more time with the most important person in our life. JESUS
Without him we have nothing and I feel we are losing sight of that in our to busy world.
Thank you Jesus for your gift of love to us. The pain you suffered the tears and the blood you shed for us. I give you my life in return, not just parts of it , but all of it. I thank you for the battles you have fought and the total victories you have won in our behalf. Thank you Father for your only Son and for allowing Him to save us eternally. Help me never to forget that or let it become taken for granted in my life and help me to show others your love through my life as a reflection of you. Eternally grateful
Well the meal is over and everyone is gone home. I've slept off the DHT or whatever it is in turkey that makes you sleepy and now I'm thinking clearly. Well clearly for me that is.
I been sitting here imagining what it might have been like to be on earth when Jesus was here, Do you suppose he had lots of friends when he was growing up? I was thinking if I was a neighbor and grew up with him. What was he like? Do you think he was serious all the time or was he like a normal child ? I'm guessing he was an extremely intelligent child, in order for him to go into the temple and teach the teachers of the day. At an early age he knew he had to be doing his Fathers business . Do you suppose he understood that he would only live a short time and then be rejected and beaten and crucified? I'm guessing he knew and was constantly burdened about the people around him and how they needed salvation. A once and for all sacrifice that would completely satisfy God's requirements to atone for sin.
Until this time there where nothing more than rituals and commands to follow that did not rid us of sin completely. The sacrifices were made from animals and never fulfilled Gods requirements.
Can you imagine the weight that Jesus carried around on his shoulders. His love had to be the most intense love ever known . I think of my self today could I grow up thinking and /or knowing that some day in the near future I would need to die for some one to pay the sacrifice for all the terrible things they had ever done . Even though I had never done anything wrong. And then on top of that the person I had died for didn't want to accept my gift, of love and life.
I think about that and think about myself getting upset about someone not liking what I had done or laughing at a mistake I had made. yet Jesus grew up knowing that a lot of the people he was friends with would reject him and his gift of love. Did that stop him from loving ? Not a chance, he loved all the more. Its very difficult for me to think of him first of all lowering himself to become a human and then to suffer all the degradation, hate ,and abuse that he endured. Yet he never turned away from us.
I was reading somewhere a while back about Jesus in his prayer in the garden when he sweat drops of blood. There is actually a medical term for that when a person becomes so intense, from things like fear, sorrow, and other emotions that the capillaries in the skin can burst and cause them to bleed through their sweat. How many of us have been that burdened? How many of us have loved that strongly? None. Of course just because we don't sweat drops of blood doesn't mean we aren't burdened or loving.
I did a little test today just to see how people felt and what was the main thing on their minds. I sat and listened as much as possible , to see what would be said in thanks to Jesus and our Father for their gift of love and life that we were to remember on Easter. Well the answer was nothing. I don't know maybe 15 or 20 people and the mentions of Jesus' gift, " zero."
I'm just as bad as anyone else, I know , how can I learn to make this all more real in my life? Every thing is about the weather , about how work is going , and who did what and who said what. I know I sound like a goody two shoe but I don't care. Jesus is coming back and this time I'm going to be there to meet him also. So if I'm spending all my time thinking about things other than him can I expect him to be watching for me when he returns?
Today was a good day and I'm not complaining about it , I just wish we could spend more time with the most important person in our life. JESUS
Without him we have nothing and I feel we are losing sight of that in our to busy world.
Thank you Jesus for your gift of love to us. The pain you suffered the tears and the blood you shed for us. I give you my life in return, not just parts of it , but all of it. I thank you for the battles you have fought and the total victories you have won in our behalf. Thank you Father for your only Son and for allowing Him to save us eternally. Help me never to forget that or let it become taken for granted in my life and help me to show others your love through my life as a reflection of you. Eternally grateful
Monday, April 11, 2011
Who's Will Is It ?
Ever thought about Gods leading in your life and how sometimes its a sure leading of the Lord. Then other times we might be sure at first and then later have doubts. Or maybe think you were led at the beginning and then backtrack and think that it wasn't God at all. I have experienced them all and would like to tell you about them and hear your thoughts about what I might have done right or wrong.
I'm going to back up a couple of years now. After my heart attack I came to OR for a couple months to recoup and then decided to go back to CA and to finish the job I had started. I was hoping the job would take maybe three or four months. As it turned out it went much longer. My sister had joined me when I returned from OR for which I was so thankful because my nerves were horrible and she was a great help in keeping me under control : ) Everything seemed to be working well , then in May she fell and broke her leg . Not just a small break, a compound fracture. , that would require a couple of surgeries to fix it. Up to that time we had thought that it was Gods will for her to be there with me,now we started to question our selves. Now I was taking care of her and running my job. But in the end by me taking care of her it helped my nerves to be more balanced. As she got better and wanted to go back to OR she thought I should just leave and let someone else finish the job. One day we are setting there trying to understand Gods will and what we were to do. I watched a balloon that my sis had gotten in the hospital float around and around the room. It had been doing it for at least two weeks. All the windows in my house were open and without screens . The thought about putting a so called fleece before the Lord crossed my mind and I half jokingly said to my sis that if God wanted my to stay He would have to pull the balloon down from the ceiling and let it fly out the window. Again it had been there for two weeks and never once had the wind blown it down or toward the window. My sister laughed because she had somewhat the same thoughts, we both sat with our jaws dropped open when we watched the balloon float over to the window then drop clear down to the floor and then out the window and out through the trees.
Both of these instances it seemed quite clear to me what God had wanted in my life . As it turned out I finished the job moved to OR in time to spend a couple of weeks with my dad before he became sick with pancreas cancer and it seemed Gods timing was perfect.
Now after getting back to OR I thought the Lord was definitely leading me to go to work for my nephew at the bakery . Which I did and throughly enjoyed it for a short time but as things worked out I really wasn't need there at all. Now my question here is , if I felt Gods leading to do that and followed it, but now have no idea what the reason for it was. Was I trying to learn Gods will but in essence maybe I was just telling God what I thought was His will should be. I'm thinking in this case that could be the problem. But not for sure.
Next over the time we started realizing that Dad was sick I made a run to the Willamette Valley to see a friend of mine. On my way home I was thinking about Dad and what was happening at the doc that day, and praying for him. The thought came to me as I was driving that Dad had pancreas cancer . I was still processing this thought when my sis called to tell me they had figured out what Dad's sickness was, and I replied pancreas cancer and she said Oh have you already talked to mom. No but God had already revealed it to me. As I drove along God laid on my heart that when I got to the hospital I was supposed to lay my hands on dad and pray for his physical healing. Hardly knowing anything about what I was to do and scared they wouldn't accept me trying to do something like that. I was really worried, but was still being pushed by the Lord to go through with the prayer. I did. I cried , I prayed, I did what I thought God asked. As we all know God didn't physically heal him. I kept asking why why God I did what you asked I tried to have faith , so why all the leading and no results.
From this point I have asked different people and received many different answers. One person said well he wasn't healed on earth but ultimately he was in heaven.( I suppose that could be true. ) But when I prayed I asked for physical healing here on earth. Another said I needed to have the elders lay their hands on him to have him to heal him. Another thought faith was lacking. Myself I don't know but after praying to the Lord for some sort of answer this is where I ended up.
First of all I really believe God led me to pray for dads healing. But several things have came to my mind since then. In searching my life I realized I had a lot of bitterness and anger that I had carried around for years. As I came to grips with the fact that I had all this sin in my life God also made me aware that I was trying to serve Him out of fear not love like He wanted. Add that to a serious dose of doubt and you end up with me, busy trying to tell God what to do and how to heal dad. I now think this was meant to be a learning experience for me. Do I believe God would have healed dad if my heart would have been ready? Absolutely !
Here I started out feeling that it was God's will for dad to be healed but do to my lack of understanding , lack of searching my life and lack of faith , He didn't answer my prayer. Making me doubt Him and His promises for a time and then later realize that God is always true and does what He says He will do.. I'm not sure if I'm making the point clear that I wanted to and that is ,when we read Gods word and he makes promises to us and time after time those promises aren't fulfilled it is not Gods fault. We want to know His will and He says he will show us his will. But then we spend maybe a few minutes a day in prayer and studying His will and think God is going to just show us His will? I really don't think so. I know I keep harping about this but it is really bothering me.
God is after me also. A couple of days ago I had been on the computer for a couple of hours reading facebook playing games and generally wasting time. The next morning I got up and tried to use it and it was literally froze up. I couldn't log in or out. I could do basically nothing. Since I do almost all of my Bible study on it I was feeling rather desperate to get it working. Nothing worked. My sis came over tried everything she new and found it basically dead. I have no money right now and getting it fixed was out of the question . So I prayed . I just said Lord you know I use this computer all the time for studying your Word and now its going to be much more difficult study. I had an immediate answer pop into my head and that was stop wasting so much time on it and study my Word and you may have it back. So I said alright Lord I'll do that and only allow myself a certain amount of time for things other than study. I'm sitting there feeling very reprimanded and then satan put in my head your so dumb you just made that up yourself. I grabbed the laptop handed it to my sister and said , see if it works now. She smiled at me turned it on and logged in with out one problem. We both sat dumbfounded, looking at the laptop. I said aloud thank you Lord I'm going to do much better from now on. I thought to myself how badly I hated it when satan gets me to thinking wrongly. I'm sure everyone has different experiences of how God leads them along and I would love to hear them. He is our Father He loves us so much. We can spend so much time trying to do everything just perfect when what He really wants is our love and trust and willingness to be obedient to Him.
Well thats enough for today. My job is still hanging somewhere out there. My tools from CA are supposed to be coming up possibly Friday and I at this point have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Lets all pray for each other that we can spend enough time with our Lord that He can show us what His plan for our life is. I can not keep going on and make excuses why I can not get thru to God. I know God answers in His own time and sometimes the answer is no . I understand that but I have a feeling His answer isn't no everytime. So pray for me that I can learn to discern His will for my life. Love in Christ
I'm going to back up a couple of years now. After my heart attack I came to OR for a couple months to recoup and then decided to go back to CA and to finish the job I had started. I was hoping the job would take maybe three or four months. As it turned out it went much longer. My sister had joined me when I returned from OR for which I was so thankful because my nerves were horrible and she was a great help in keeping me under control : ) Everything seemed to be working well , then in May she fell and broke her leg . Not just a small break, a compound fracture. , that would require a couple of surgeries to fix it. Up to that time we had thought that it was Gods will for her to be there with me,now we started to question our selves. Now I was taking care of her and running my job. But in the end by me taking care of her it helped my nerves to be more balanced. As she got better and wanted to go back to OR she thought I should just leave and let someone else finish the job. One day we are setting there trying to understand Gods will and what we were to do. I watched a balloon that my sis had gotten in the hospital float around and around the room. It had been doing it for at least two weeks. All the windows in my house were open and without screens . The thought about putting a so called fleece before the Lord crossed my mind and I half jokingly said to my sis that if God wanted my to stay He would have to pull the balloon down from the ceiling and let it fly out the window. Again it had been there for two weeks and never once had the wind blown it down or toward the window. My sister laughed because she had somewhat the same thoughts, we both sat with our jaws dropped open when we watched the balloon float over to the window then drop clear down to the floor and then out the window and out through the trees.
Both of these instances it seemed quite clear to me what God had wanted in my life . As it turned out I finished the job moved to OR in time to spend a couple of weeks with my dad before he became sick with pancreas cancer and it seemed Gods timing was perfect.
Now after getting back to OR I thought the Lord was definitely leading me to go to work for my nephew at the bakery . Which I did and throughly enjoyed it for a short time but as things worked out I really wasn't need there at all. Now my question here is , if I felt Gods leading to do that and followed it, but now have no idea what the reason for it was. Was I trying to learn Gods will but in essence maybe I was just telling God what I thought was His will should be. I'm thinking in this case that could be the problem. But not for sure.
Next over the time we started realizing that Dad was sick I made a run to the Willamette Valley to see a friend of mine. On my way home I was thinking about Dad and what was happening at the doc that day, and praying for him. The thought came to me as I was driving that Dad had pancreas cancer . I was still processing this thought when my sis called to tell me they had figured out what Dad's sickness was, and I replied pancreas cancer and she said Oh have you already talked to mom. No but God had already revealed it to me. As I drove along God laid on my heart that when I got to the hospital I was supposed to lay my hands on dad and pray for his physical healing. Hardly knowing anything about what I was to do and scared they wouldn't accept me trying to do something like that. I was really worried, but was still being pushed by the Lord to go through with the prayer. I did. I cried , I prayed, I did what I thought God asked. As we all know God didn't physically heal him. I kept asking why why God I did what you asked I tried to have faith , so why all the leading and no results.
From this point I have asked different people and received many different answers. One person said well he wasn't healed on earth but ultimately he was in heaven.( I suppose that could be true. ) But when I prayed I asked for physical healing here on earth. Another said I needed to have the elders lay their hands on him to have him to heal him. Another thought faith was lacking. Myself I don't know but after praying to the Lord for some sort of answer this is where I ended up.
First of all I really believe God led me to pray for dads healing. But several things have came to my mind since then. In searching my life I realized I had a lot of bitterness and anger that I had carried around for years. As I came to grips with the fact that I had all this sin in my life God also made me aware that I was trying to serve Him out of fear not love like He wanted. Add that to a serious dose of doubt and you end up with me, busy trying to tell God what to do and how to heal dad. I now think this was meant to be a learning experience for me. Do I believe God would have healed dad if my heart would have been ready? Absolutely !
Here I started out feeling that it was God's will for dad to be healed but do to my lack of understanding , lack of searching my life and lack of faith , He didn't answer my prayer. Making me doubt Him and His promises for a time and then later realize that God is always true and does what He says He will do.. I'm not sure if I'm making the point clear that I wanted to and that is ,when we read Gods word and he makes promises to us and time after time those promises aren't fulfilled it is not Gods fault. We want to know His will and He says he will show us his will. But then we spend maybe a few minutes a day in prayer and studying His will and think God is going to just show us His will? I really don't think so. I know I keep harping about this but it is really bothering me.
God is after me also. A couple of days ago I had been on the computer for a couple of hours reading facebook playing games and generally wasting time. The next morning I got up and tried to use it and it was literally froze up. I couldn't log in or out. I could do basically nothing. Since I do almost all of my Bible study on it I was feeling rather desperate to get it working. Nothing worked. My sis came over tried everything she new and found it basically dead. I have no money right now and getting it fixed was out of the question . So I prayed . I just said Lord you know I use this computer all the time for studying your Word and now its going to be much more difficult study. I had an immediate answer pop into my head and that was stop wasting so much time on it and study my Word and you may have it back. So I said alright Lord I'll do that and only allow myself a certain amount of time for things other than study. I'm sitting there feeling very reprimanded and then satan put in my head your so dumb you just made that up yourself. I grabbed the laptop handed it to my sister and said , see if it works now. She smiled at me turned it on and logged in with out one problem. We both sat dumbfounded, looking at the laptop. I said aloud thank you Lord I'm going to do much better from now on. I thought to myself how badly I hated it when satan gets me to thinking wrongly. I'm sure everyone has different experiences of how God leads them along and I would love to hear them. He is our Father He loves us so much. We can spend so much time trying to do everything just perfect when what He really wants is our love and trust and willingness to be obedient to Him.
Well thats enough for today. My job is still hanging somewhere out there. My tools from CA are supposed to be coming up possibly Friday and I at this point have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Lets all pray for each other that we can spend enough time with our Lord that He can show us what His plan for our life is. I can not keep going on and make excuses why I can not get thru to God. I know God answers in His own time and sometimes the answer is no . I understand that but I have a feeling His answer isn't no everytime. So pray for me that I can learn to discern His will for my life. Love in Christ
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Lack Of Faith ?
Hello to all my fine friends, I have set around here for the last two weeks and gone ,well ,crazy. My mom and sister think I might of slipped off the edge of sanity. I'm still here not sure if its sanity or insanity but I'm here. I have heard more excuses why I haven't started my job ,than a tax auditor on audit day . Oh well patience is a virtue and I don't have it. So I sit and think about things way to much probably, and end up with a lot of questions. I've been chatting with a friend about sickness and healing and what is God's will. In the process of studying I think I may have made more questions than answers.
I think I'll give different ways that healing could happen and go from there. Number 1. say a good christian person a little older in life gets very sick with some sort of disease. The elders of the church come and anoint him with oil and pray for him along with many other people. He is not healed physically and dies. Different ways to look at it. 1 God heard the prayers and chose to answer no. 2. The man had undisclosed sin in his life and God chose not to heal him. 3 . The people praying for him had sin in their lives therefore God didn't hear their prayers. 4. Or maybe all had a lack of faith and God didn't answer.
I agree sometimes God does chose to say no and when that happens we need to except it and go on. Now what if the man had sin in his life say some very deep rooted bitterness that he wouldn't really think about without some real soul searching to uncover it. Job talked about it Job 31:33 'If I covered my transgressions as Adam, by hiding mine iniquity in my bosom." He searched his heart to see if he had hidden something or forgotten to make something right with the Lord. David knew he needed to search his heart. Psalms 139: 23-24 23"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts . 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." If we don't dig deep into our hearts we can keep things buried there in our emotions that satan can use against us . It is a proven fact by medical doctors that stressors in a persons life such as anger, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness can over time cause many kinds of diseases. I think we need to be very careful here about judging someone and saying they weren't healed because of sin in their life. That is judging , and we all know what happens to the people that judge others. But still there is the possibility. God and that person are the only ones that can truly know that answer.
Now point number 3 . Is it possible for God to answer prayers from people that have some sort of sin in their lives? If that is the case why do we need to worry about sin in our live if God still hears us. If He doesn't answer those prayers how many of us are truly getting thru to God. And that could also answer a lot of questions as to why more people aren't being healed today.
James 5:13-16 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. I read this verse a bunch of times and it says the prayer of faith heals the sick not the anointing. What is the prayer of faith? How can you pray in faith if your not sure it is God's will? Now number 4 , is it possible to have a lack of faith and not have prayer answered? I think so.
Christ could do few mighty works in Nazareth due to the people's lack of faith (Matthew 13:57-58) Talking about Jesus in Mat. 9:29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, "According to your faith let it be to you."
Matthew 18:19 "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on Earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven." What does this verse mean? If you have a bunch of people praying for the same thing Mat. says it will be done for them. Does that mean we have such a lack of faith that even with a lot of people praying God won't answer or is there some way to explain this verse away to make it fit how we work today. I know go ahead start shooting at me. I'm a pretty literal guy . I try to take things at face value and if I do that with some of the verses I end up asking why. If God says he will do that and he doesn't there must be a reason. Or does a person have to go through many hours of explaining it away because we are not having it work for us anymore due to unbelief or other reasons.
Mark 16:17-18 "And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name . . . they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover I shortened it up but you get the jest of it. Again the same thing here. How can we explain this away. I truly don't know and thats why I'm asking. My understanding is God will always do what He says . I'm sure that is the case so that means I have a lot of things to learn about healing and God's will and prayer. I'm going to stop here for now cause I have a long ways to go . A little help would be very nice. Until next time
I think I'll give different ways that healing could happen and go from there. Number 1. say a good christian person a little older in life gets very sick with some sort of disease. The elders of the church come and anoint him with oil and pray for him along with many other people. He is not healed physically and dies. Different ways to look at it. 1 God heard the prayers and chose to answer no. 2. The man had undisclosed sin in his life and God chose not to heal him. 3 . The people praying for him had sin in their lives therefore God didn't hear their prayers. 4. Or maybe all had a lack of faith and God didn't answer.
I agree sometimes God does chose to say no and when that happens we need to except it and go on. Now what if the man had sin in his life say some very deep rooted bitterness that he wouldn't really think about without some real soul searching to uncover it. Job talked about it Job 31:33 'If I covered my transgressions as Adam, by hiding mine iniquity in my bosom." He searched his heart to see if he had hidden something or forgotten to make something right with the Lord. David knew he needed to search his heart. Psalms 139: 23-24 23"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts . 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." If we don't dig deep into our hearts we can keep things buried there in our emotions that satan can use against us . It is a proven fact by medical doctors that stressors in a persons life such as anger, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness can over time cause many kinds of diseases. I think we need to be very careful here about judging someone and saying they weren't healed because of sin in their life. That is judging , and we all know what happens to the people that judge others. But still there is the possibility. God and that person are the only ones that can truly know that answer.
Now point number 3 . Is it possible for God to answer prayers from people that have some sort of sin in their lives? If that is the case why do we need to worry about sin in our live if God still hears us. If He doesn't answer those prayers how many of us are truly getting thru to God. And that could also answer a lot of questions as to why more people aren't being healed today.
James 5:13-16 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. I read this verse a bunch of times and it says the prayer of faith heals the sick not the anointing. What is the prayer of faith? How can you pray in faith if your not sure it is God's will? Now number 4 , is it possible to have a lack of faith and not have prayer answered? I think so.
Christ could do few mighty works in Nazareth due to the people's lack of faith (Matthew 13:57-58) Talking about Jesus in Mat. 9:29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, "According to your faith let it be to you."
Matthew 18:19 "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on Earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven." What does this verse mean? If you have a bunch of people praying for the same thing Mat. says it will be done for them. Does that mean we have such a lack of faith that even with a lot of people praying God won't answer or is there some way to explain this verse away to make it fit how we work today. I know go ahead start shooting at me. I'm a pretty literal guy . I try to take things at face value and if I do that with some of the verses I end up asking why. If God says he will do that and he doesn't there must be a reason. Or does a person have to go through many hours of explaining it away because we are not having it work for us anymore due to unbelief or other reasons.
Mark 16:17-18 "And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name . . . they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover I shortened it up but you get the jest of it. Again the same thing here. How can we explain this away. I truly don't know and thats why I'm asking. My understanding is God will always do what He says . I'm sure that is the case so that means I have a lot of things to learn about healing and God's will and prayer. I'm going to stop here for now cause I have a long ways to go . A little help would be very nice. Until next time
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Healed
This is a blog I got from my cousin Rhonda Schrock about an experience her dear dad had just not so long ago. He had called and told me about it . It was such and encouragement to me. This happened to him about the same time I had experienced healing in my legs. It helped me to understand more clearly that if we ask God for something and we have completely aligned ourselves with His will He will answer our prayer. We must have faith, then we must be totally submissive to Him, and thank Him always. I believe the church at the beginning witnessed many miracles in healing and many other areas of life , and that we can still have that today. I must have faith because without it my beliefs are useless. I want everyone to start praying for a revival to start across our christian communities. One where people will drop everything and ask God where He wants them and what His will is. Not like I have done, making up my mind and then trying to fit Gods will into it. I honestly believe if we don't all rethink our lives and learn to be truly crucified to Christ we will be like the lukewarm church in Revelations that God said he will spit them out. Is our short time here on earth worth more than eternity? Just because we don't stop and a seek God's will and live a crucified life for Him? Eternity is a long time to think about how you might have done things differently, instead of enjoying the full rewards that come from God. Sorry I got up on my little soap box again. This is the blog from Rhonda. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Faith and prayer lead to healing and Haiti
Note: This column was published in the 03/28/11 edition of The Goshen News. This writer is happy to share with you a glimpse of her parents - her father's adventurous spirit and her mother's behind-the-scenes supportive work. Enjoy!
If my father would just settle down and give us all a boring, uneventful year, we’d appreciate it. I’m serious.
If Action Jackson isn’t traipsing through the woods shooting bucks or hunting bears in Minnesota with his bow, he’s plotting a practical joke that will scare the bejeebers out of his victim. That, or he’s having a heart attack or a five-vessel bypass or a train wreck (from which, thank God, he walked away) or kidney stones or prostate cancer. Or diverticulitis.
It was back in February that he was hospitalized yet again with severe pain, nausea, vomiting, and fever. For months, he’d been making plans to go to Haiti with their church group. They’d gone down only last year, and Dad had left a piece of his heart with the Haitian people. Now, a mere two weeks before they were to leave, a grim-faced doctor was delivering news that sent his spirits plummeting.
It was diverticulitis, he said, and some diverticula had ruptured. They were looking at major surgery with the possibility of a colostomy.
“When the doctor was telling me what it was and how bad it was,” Dad said, “I asked him if he can fix it. He shook his head and said, ‘I hope.’”
“’I hope!’” he told us later. “Now if that don’t scare you back into last week. I thought church was out.”
Lying there in the hospital bed, hooked up to IVs, the realization began to set in. He would not be going to Haiti .
It was no surprise to us who know him that it was the Haitian children who stole Dad’s heart. In his pictures from last year’s trip, their chocolate brown eyes shine in coffee-colored faces. They’d loved the pale white foreigners who’d come bearing gifts, and they’d sprung from the woodwork at the slightest hint of activity in the compound.
In preparation for the team’s return, Dad had gotten copies of the Jesus movie in Haitian Creole in both the adults’ and children’s versions. “I felt real good about the Jesus films,” he said. “Ernest cannot change anyone’s life, but I felt the Jesus film would touch a lot of lives, and I wanted to be there.”
He continued. “It’s not that the others couldn’t have done very well without me.” But, he said, “It was real disappointing. I felt like the disciples on the way to Emmaus – where is Jesus? Where is He when things don’t make sense?” However, he added, “I did not want to go if the Lord did not want me to go or if I would have been a hindrance to God’s work.”
In the following days, he had plenty of time to think. Even in the struggle to accept the unwelcome truth, he began to sense the Lord speaking to him. “Finally,” he said, “I got the urge to tell Jesus, ‘Thank You for letting this happen. I know it was for a reason.’” And so he obeyed.
“I kept thinking in the back of my mind that the only way I could go is if the doc told me I was completely healed.”
To his great surprise, the doctor returned on Wednesday, a mere two days before the team was to leave, with astonishing news. The infection was gone, the pockets had healed, and while he would still require surgery down the road, he was cleared to go to Haiti .
“When he told me I was healed and that I could go,” Dad said, “It took awhile to sink in. And then it got scary. As sick as I was, what if it had happened there?
“The Lord kept asking me, ‘Would it not be a lack of faith if you don’t go since I healed you?’ It took a lot of faith.” Then he added dryly, “I’ve got a Ph.D. in faith.”
So it was that in spite of all the odds, my father went to Haiti where they built a house, put a roof on a porch, and introduced 70 to 80 Haitian children to the delights of roasted hot dogs (150) and toasted marshmallows (5 lbs.), courtesy of Dad.
He did get to be there when they showed the Jesus film to both children and adults, and he did get to see souls come to Christ. Worst never came to worst as he’d speculated, and the team didn’t have to throw him in the Côtes de Fer river after all.
Afterwards, he had this to say. “I still don’t think I would’ve been healed if I had not told Him thank you, though I may be wrong.
“I don’t care what happens. God is in control. God is great! It was a great lesson for me.”
Rhonda Schrock gives her mother, who stayed behind, a heartfelt shout out. She thinks that soldiering through an ice storm and a power outage all alone in Dad’s absence also required a certain amount of faith. To quote a grandson, “Joo job, Mama!” Good job.
Faith and prayer lead to healing and Haiti
Note: This column was published in the 03/28/11 edition of The Goshen News. This writer is happy to share with you a glimpse of her parents - her father's adventurous spirit and her mother's behind-the-scenes supportive work. Enjoy!
If my father would just settle down and give us all a boring, uneventful year, we’d appreciate it. I’m serious.
If Action Jackson isn’t traipsing through the woods shooting bucks or hunting bears in Minnesota with his bow, he’s plotting a practical joke that will scare the bejeebers out of his victim. That, or he’s having a heart attack or a five-vessel bypass or a train wreck (from which, thank God, he walked away) or kidney stones or prostate cancer. Or diverticulitis.
It was back in February that he was hospitalized yet again with severe pain, nausea, vomiting, and fever. For months, he’d been making plans to go to Haiti with their church group. They’d gone down only last year, and Dad had left a piece of his heart with the Haitian people. Now, a mere two weeks before they were to leave, a grim-faced doctor was delivering news that sent his spirits plummeting.
It was diverticulitis, he said, and some diverticula had ruptured. They were looking at major surgery with the possibility of a colostomy.
“When the doctor was telling me what it was and how bad it was,” Dad said, “I asked him if he can fix it. He shook his head and said, ‘I hope.’”
“’I hope!’” he told us later. “Now if that don’t scare you back into last week. I thought church was out.”
Lying there in the hospital bed, hooked up to IVs, the realization began to set in. He would not be going to Haiti .
It was no surprise to us who know him that it was the Haitian children who stole Dad’s heart. In his pictures from last year’s trip, their chocolate brown eyes shine in coffee-colored faces. They’d loved the pale white foreigners who’d come bearing gifts, and they’d sprung from the woodwork at the slightest hint of activity in the compound.
In preparation for the team’s return, Dad had gotten copies of the Jesus movie in Haitian Creole in both the adults’ and children’s versions. “I felt real good about the Jesus films,” he said. “Ernest cannot change anyone’s life, but I felt the Jesus film would touch a lot of lives, and I wanted to be there.”
He continued. “It’s not that the others couldn’t have done very well without me.” But, he said, “It was real disappointing. I felt like the disciples on the way to Emmaus – where is Jesus? Where is He when things don’t make sense?” However, he added, “I did not want to go if the Lord did not want me to go or if I would have been a hindrance to God’s work.”
In the following days, he had plenty of time to think. Even in the struggle to accept the unwelcome truth, he began to sense the Lord speaking to him. “Finally,” he said, “I got the urge to tell Jesus, ‘Thank You for letting this happen. I know it was for a reason.’” And so he obeyed.
“I kept thinking in the back of my mind that the only way I could go is if the doc told me I was completely healed.”
To his great surprise, the doctor returned on Wednesday, a mere two days before the team was to leave, with astonishing news. The infection was gone, the pockets had healed, and while he would still require surgery down the road, he was cleared to go to Haiti .
“When he told me I was healed and that I could go,” Dad said, “It took awhile to sink in. And then it got scary. As sick as I was, what if it had happened there?
“The Lord kept asking me, ‘Would it not be a lack of faith if you don’t go since I healed you?’ It took a lot of faith.” Then he added dryly, “I’ve got a Ph.D. in faith.”
So it was that in spite of all the odds, my father went to Haiti where they built a house, put a roof on a porch, and introduced 70 to 80 Haitian children to the delights of roasted hot dogs (150) and toasted marshmallows (5 lbs.), courtesy of Dad.
He did get to be there when they showed the Jesus film to both children and adults, and he did get to see souls come to Christ. Worst never came to worst as he’d speculated, and the team didn’t have to throw him in the Côtes de Fer river after all.
Afterwards, he had this to say. “I still don’t think I would’ve been healed if I had not told Him thank you, though I may be wrong.
“I don’t care what happens. God is in control. God is great! It was a great lesson for me.”
Rhonda Schrock gives her mother, who stayed behind, a heartfelt shout out. She thinks that soldiering through an ice storm and a power outage all alone in Dad’s absence also required a certain amount of faith. To quote a grandson, “Joo job, Mama!” Good job.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Mental Block
Its Saturday evening and I was just browsing through my emails. Thinking I should answer some of them and that I should write something. But it seems in the last week or two I have developed some sort of block in my brain that doesn't allow me to write anything.
The last I wrote I was all excited about this new job that was supposed to have started a couple of weeks ago. Well it still hasn't started. Why?I don't know. I don't really care other than I thought I had some direct leading from God. Well , now I have about a thousand questions running though my mind. Was it really God moving this direction ? Seemed like it . As you read in my last couple blogs everything just fell into to place, I thought , except for the main thing the job. Still hasn't happened. Why? I don't know, these guys call me almost everyday and say they're ready to meet then an hour later they call and have some excuse why they can't . I don't even call them . I haven't called them once. But they keep on. I don't know what to think. Then of course there is my old boss telling me to come and get the tools from CA. I would love to run down and get them but again you have to have money.
Where does that leave me , no clue. I talked to some friends that thought it was a test from God. I do believe that for sure. I'm not sure what the test is , even. I going with trusting God to show me.
I know my whole life was spent making sure I always was making money . If I ran low I wasn't working hard enough. Does God want me to learn to trust Him for it? Could be . Where do you draw the line between trusting God and being lazy ? Sure I can stay here with mom and take care of my gardening projects and spend lots of time in studying God's word. But why all the stuff about the job that I wasn't looking for anyway? I'm so confused. If anyone has the answer please send it right away. : ) Yes I have very little patience , maybe that is it. ?
I guess for now my plan is this. Wait, study God's Word more , pray more, and see if there is more in my life that God wants me to align with His will. I'm sure there is plenty of work to be done there. One place I was reading just a while ago said that in order for me to better understand God's will for my life I first must understand His purpose for my life. So my next little side study will be what is God's purpose for my life. Again suggestions would be of great help here.
So my new job is somewhat or indefinitely on hold. Maybe know more next week. Who knows. Do I really want to spent 30 or 40 hours a week working ? Instead of doing God work? No, but could I possibly do both? I'm waiting to see. Please pray that I will do the right thing. Like I've said before I truly believe I won't be happy unless I'm in the center of God's will. If I only knew where that was right now.
Hoping and Praying God's Will is accomplished.
The last I wrote I was all excited about this new job that was supposed to have started a couple of weeks ago. Well it still hasn't started. Why?I don't know. I don't really care other than I thought I had some direct leading from God. Well , now I have about a thousand questions running though my mind. Was it really God moving this direction ? Seemed like it . As you read in my last couple blogs everything just fell into to place, I thought , except for the main thing the job. Still hasn't happened. Why? I don't know, these guys call me almost everyday and say they're ready to meet then an hour later they call and have some excuse why they can't . I don't even call them . I haven't called them once. But they keep on. I don't know what to think. Then of course there is my old boss telling me to come and get the tools from CA. I would love to run down and get them but again you have to have money.
Where does that leave me , no clue. I talked to some friends that thought it was a test from God. I do believe that for sure. I'm not sure what the test is , even. I going with trusting God to show me.
I know my whole life was spent making sure I always was making money . If I ran low I wasn't working hard enough. Does God want me to learn to trust Him for it? Could be . Where do you draw the line between trusting God and being lazy ? Sure I can stay here with mom and take care of my gardening projects and spend lots of time in studying God's word. But why all the stuff about the job that I wasn't looking for anyway? I'm so confused. If anyone has the answer please send it right away. : ) Yes I have very little patience , maybe that is it. ?
I guess for now my plan is this. Wait, study God's Word more , pray more, and see if there is more in my life that God wants me to align with His will. I'm sure there is plenty of work to be done there. One place I was reading just a while ago said that in order for me to better understand God's will for my life I first must understand His purpose for my life. So my next little side study will be what is God's purpose for my life. Again suggestions would be of great help here.
So my new job is somewhat or indefinitely on hold. Maybe know more next week. Who knows. Do I really want to spent 30 or 40 hours a week working ? Instead of doing God work? No, but could I possibly do both? I'm waiting to see. Please pray that I will do the right thing. Like I've said before I truly believe I won't be happy unless I'm in the center of God's will. If I only knew where that was right now.
Hoping and Praying God's Will is accomplished.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Only God's Way Works
Its been a week since I last wrote and I keep putting it off. Last blog you'll remember me babbling on and on about this great job offer and how its so incredible how God works. Well me and my big mouth . God isn't wonderful He is unbelievably wonderful and awesome. Maybe not in my timing but in His. As you know I was supposed to meet last week about the job. Due to circumstances that couldn't be helped and others that could , the meeting has been cancelled a total of four times. Yes I was tweaking by the latest cancellation. I of course would never bellyache or complain about the cancelled meetings. Ha I gave having a fit a new meaning..... not really but I did get upset. So the two bosses called me yes you heard correctly, the bosses called me. Not sure why but it definitely helped my wounded spirit. They explained about sales and demands that they have to meet and scheduling being a complete nightmare for them . Basically told me to be patient. ... They told me that my job is already secured and a check is waiting for me when we meet. Also they had just purchased a new car for me . So now I have to scrape myself back up off the floor, since I had melted down in embarrassment. : ) My mouth is still hanging open , but I'm happy. Now I'm not only going to work on showrooms and warehouses I will also be building some sort of house /mansion. I guess its going to be very large and extravagant. Those are the most fun to build and oversee.
Now here I am sheepishly thanking the Lord that he is making such an unbelievable job available to me. I had been waiting , struggling, praying , not praying , feeling depressed , and feeling happiness when God revealed His love to me . Where to go ? I just wait at this point , so I'm sitting back thinking about the future
I thought about what God has been doing in my life . Everytime I would struggle with the Lord about giving up some part of my life, and how difficult it is for me to let go. Now some of the things I was having problems with ,seem so ridiculous. Like my car I'm not real sure if I'm getting anything out of it. I could be really upset about it. I was to begin with. Then I prayed and said Lord its your car you take it and I will not worry. What did I get out of it. Well lets see. Got an unbelievable job to start that has the much needed health insurance, I got a new car , one that I really like. And a boss that will fill my tank for me as needed. Wow seems like a lot . Right?
The story keeps going, today I got a call from my old boss . I didn't answer but he left me a message . Basically he told me that for the money he owed me and the situation he was in, he wanted me to come down to San Fran and pickup all the tools from the shop where I worked. You have to understand these are industrial tools and have prices that match. He said that would even us up for a bunch of money I thought I would never see again. I never even thought for a minute there would be any way he could repay me .Yet God in His wonderful way takes care of absolutely everything. But first He wanted my love and my fully surrendered life. I am completely amazed at what God is doing . A little scared wondering whats around the next corner but feel safe in His care. I feel I need to get down on my knees and ask God to forgive me for being such a whiner. And being so impatient. God's timing is perfect, as life unfolds God reveals His will one day at a time. Only what I need each day. If I can learn that and stop trying to do God's job for Him life will be so much simpler for me.
Crazy day, crazy week , but an awesome and wonderful, loving God. Until next time
Now here I am sheepishly thanking the Lord that he is making such an unbelievable job available to me. I had been waiting , struggling, praying , not praying , feeling depressed , and feeling happiness when God revealed His love to me . Where to go ? I just wait at this point , so I'm sitting back thinking about the future
I thought about what God has been doing in my life . Everytime I would struggle with the Lord about giving up some part of my life, and how difficult it is for me to let go. Now some of the things I was having problems with ,seem so ridiculous. Like my car I'm not real sure if I'm getting anything out of it. I could be really upset about it. I was to begin with. Then I prayed and said Lord its your car you take it and I will not worry. What did I get out of it. Well lets see. Got an unbelievable job to start that has the much needed health insurance, I got a new car , one that I really like. And a boss that will fill my tank for me as needed. Wow seems like a lot . Right?
The story keeps going, today I got a call from my old boss . I didn't answer but he left me a message . Basically he told me that for the money he owed me and the situation he was in, he wanted me to come down to San Fran and pickup all the tools from the shop where I worked. You have to understand these are industrial tools and have prices that match. He said that would even us up for a bunch of money I thought I would never see again. I never even thought for a minute there would be any way he could repay me .Yet God in His wonderful way takes care of absolutely everything. But first He wanted my love and my fully surrendered life. I am completely amazed at what God is doing . A little scared wondering whats around the next corner but feel safe in His care. I feel I need to get down on my knees and ask God to forgive me for being such a whiner. And being so impatient. God's timing is perfect, as life unfolds God reveals His will one day at a time. Only what I need each day. If I can learn that and stop trying to do God's job for Him life will be so much simpler for me.
Crazy day, crazy week , but an awesome and wonderful, loving God. Until next time
Monday, February 28, 2011
Who Knew ?
I know its been close to are week since I last wrote . I could probably go on for a couple more pages about showing love to people, but on to other things for now. I've started trying to live or experience God and His love not just having knowledge of it. I have to say it changes the way you look at salvation and its meaning. To experience something means to live it , I'm trying to understand what God's will for my life is, and give Him complete control of my life. That of course is much easier said than done. But I'm trying and I feel like God is guiding me a little step at a time.
Remember a couple weeks ago I was thinking of selling my car? I didn't go back and read what I had written, so I may repeat a little. Anyway I was trying to sell my car but wasn't really wanting to let go of it, you know clinging on to the old life as though it would help me feel better. Ha So I gave up one day and told God I was giving it to him and He could do whatever He wanted with it. I was thinking sometime in the future it would sell for a decent amount and I could use that money to buy some tools and things I needed to work around the shop and sell little odds and ends. That wasn't necessarily His plan. ; ) After I told God the car was His, within 1/2 an hour my sister called and said a friend of hers wanted to sell my car at his dealership and to get it over there in an hour. Wow when God wants something done He doesn't mess around. All I had to do is say ok Lord, and He did the rest. The guys name was Jerry. He told me that he would check out the computer problem and get back to me. Next day he said for 1800 dollars he could fix it and then take it to an auction in Seattle and get really good money for it. About 10,000 more than what I had figured. Yee haw I was so excited , I'm thinking to myself now that the Lord was rewarding me for giving up and letting Him have my car . Well back the truck up as they say. Proud heart before a fall, comes to mind about now. Jerry calls me the next day and tells me the 1800 dollars I just borrowed from my dear mom just burnt up when they turn the key on with the new computer installed . Well back to headspinning and misery, so what was the Lord doing ? At this point I'm confused and angry asking why. Next couple of days nothing , no word from Jerry no guidance from the Lord just misery. Why can't I learn patience? Finally Jerry calls on friday and apologized , said he was in the hospital for a couple of days because of his severe diabetes. How can I be upset with a man almost dying from diabetes. I can't. He said to call him on monday and we would meet because we needed to discuss the matters at hand. Oh great get my xanax bottle my nerves just went into hyper drive, then I remember oh yes I gave it to the Lord so why am I freaking out. I'm such a slow learner.
Alright monday morning Jerry calls and says lets meet and 10. My sister and I head out not having a clue where any of this is going. Still full from breakfast at home , Jerry is buying us breakfast again so with my nerves on edge I go ahead and hork down another full breakfast. What is it with nerves and eating? Jerry says we will get back the 1800 dollars , thank you Lord, and that the car had been stolen in california and after the insurance paid it off someone had bought it very cheaply and put a few things into and sold it for thirty thousand to some sap dumb enough to buy it. There was actually a question in their minds as to why the car hadn't blown up in flames already. Nice very nice . My old boss is my hero.. How to make it simple? My boss traded 30,000 dollars worth of work for a car that was worth 2 or 3 thousand and gave it to me for the 60,000 thousand he owed me. Well it all worked out so nicely . At this point it feels like the whole biscuit and gravy is stuck in my throat. Its Gods car now remember? I keep telling myself its God's . Then I realize it really is His car and he has just completely protected me from a lawsuit if the car had burned. Thank you again Lord . Jerry will
have the car traded to a place that knows about the problem and it will probably be parted out. In the mean time my sister will get a nice car to drive because hers was just totalled out a week ago and we were praying to God to help us get her a car. So all in all it turned out better than we could have expected knowing the truth about it all. But not the end of the story.
After I had washed down the biscuit Jerry asks me 'have you ever done any sales before"? I said I had and he wanted to know if I would want to work for him selling cars on the internet. Not my kind of job but I've been looking and praying that God would help me find a job. So I said sure I could do that I'm just not real good on a computer and haven't done sales in years and I have nerve problems , talk about a confident attitude. I'm scared ok...... So jerry says well what kind of work have you done . Construction I say. Your just what I need Jerry says. I need a person who will work with me and the owner of many many car dealerships through the NW. You will just go to each dealership and tell us what needs paint, tile , shelves, fence, whatever. You will just hire the contractors and and get the work done. A mediator per say between the owner and contractor. Wow thats what I've done all my life. There goes my head spinning again, what if its to much for me , I haven't worked in a couple years, what if I do it wrong. Oh wait Jerry's talking again. How much do I want? Who me ? I don't know. How about a thousand a month. He is laughing at me now. He asks what I made in CA and I laugh nervously and say the amount. He didn't even blink. I think thats doable he said ,I just swallowed my napkin , kidding. He said he'd check with the owner and see what he says. Did I mention that I was scared ? Oh yes, so we head home my thoughts going a hundred miles an hour . I started praying Lord I'm scared if this is what I'm supposed to do you are going to have to just force it on me cause I won't be out there trying to get this kind of job. Next morning bright and early dear Jerry is calling. He talked to the owner and he said 1500 dollars a month less than what I made in CA after 11years, but he would get me full insurance, medical,dental and eye care from the day I start. They will supply me with a vehicle of my choosing from the dealerships, I will be given a company credit card for gas food and anything I needed. I would set my hours, they don't care just as long as the work gets done. No more than 40 hours a week. Oh the kicker here is I have a meeting with the owner on tuesday to sign a contract for two years saying I will be paid for two year whether I work or am fire I would still get paid.
So here I am supposedly have a job to start soon with a possible 6 digit income and my jaw is dragging on the floor. Is this all coincidence. I don't think so . Am I worthy of some reward? Absolutely not. I don't know if this is all going to happen yet but I needed to vent it out. Is it a miracle ? I would say 100 percent so. Whatever happens in the near future you will be the first ones to know. If you want to experience God give everything to Him without reservation ( very difficult) and watch what happens . My story isn't close to finished but God has protected me and loved me even though I'm like a stubborn little child , I so glad He is patient with me. I praise Him from my heart. Not because I might get this job, but because He loves me and I truly feel that now.He is my protection from this world. Another step in my life that God is drawing me nearer to him. I'm hoping to hear from someone else what God is doing in their life , big or small it is a awesome thing and sharing it with others will help people like me who get down and need to feel that encouragement. It means so much.
God's love is great and His protection like a big warm blanket that keeps us safe. Try it, you won't be disappointed Until next time
Remember a couple weeks ago I was thinking of selling my car? I didn't go back and read what I had written, so I may repeat a little. Anyway I was trying to sell my car but wasn't really wanting to let go of it, you know clinging on to the old life as though it would help me feel better. Ha So I gave up one day and told God I was giving it to him and He could do whatever He wanted with it. I was thinking sometime in the future it would sell for a decent amount and I could use that money to buy some tools and things I needed to work around the shop and sell little odds and ends. That wasn't necessarily His plan. ; ) After I told God the car was His, within 1/2 an hour my sister called and said a friend of hers wanted to sell my car at his dealership and to get it over there in an hour. Wow when God wants something done He doesn't mess around. All I had to do is say ok Lord, and He did the rest. The guys name was Jerry. He told me that he would check out the computer problem and get back to me. Next day he said for 1800 dollars he could fix it and then take it to an auction in Seattle and get really good money for it. About 10,000 more than what I had figured. Yee haw I was so excited , I'm thinking to myself now that the Lord was rewarding me for giving up and letting Him have my car . Well back the truck up as they say. Proud heart before a fall, comes to mind about now. Jerry calls me the next day and tells me the 1800 dollars I just borrowed from my dear mom just burnt up when they turn the key on with the new computer installed . Well back to headspinning and misery, so what was the Lord doing ? At this point I'm confused and angry asking why. Next couple of days nothing , no word from Jerry no guidance from the Lord just misery. Why can't I learn patience? Finally Jerry calls on friday and apologized , said he was in the hospital for a couple of days because of his severe diabetes. How can I be upset with a man almost dying from diabetes. I can't. He said to call him on monday and we would meet because we needed to discuss the matters at hand. Oh great get my xanax bottle my nerves just went into hyper drive, then I remember oh yes I gave it to the Lord so why am I freaking out. I'm such a slow learner.
Alright monday morning Jerry calls and says lets meet and 10. My sister and I head out not having a clue where any of this is going. Still full from breakfast at home , Jerry is buying us breakfast again so with my nerves on edge I go ahead and hork down another full breakfast. What is it with nerves and eating? Jerry says we will get back the 1800 dollars , thank you Lord, and that the car had been stolen in california and after the insurance paid it off someone had bought it very cheaply and put a few things into and sold it for thirty thousand to some sap dumb enough to buy it. There was actually a question in their minds as to why the car hadn't blown up in flames already. Nice very nice . My old boss is my hero.. How to make it simple? My boss traded 30,000 dollars worth of work for a car that was worth 2 or 3 thousand and gave it to me for the 60,000 thousand he owed me. Well it all worked out so nicely . At this point it feels like the whole biscuit and gravy is stuck in my throat. Its Gods car now remember? I keep telling myself its God's . Then I realize it really is His car and he has just completely protected me from a lawsuit if the car had burned. Thank you again Lord . Jerry will
have the car traded to a place that knows about the problem and it will probably be parted out. In the mean time my sister will get a nice car to drive because hers was just totalled out a week ago and we were praying to God to help us get her a car. So all in all it turned out better than we could have expected knowing the truth about it all. But not the end of the story.
After I had washed down the biscuit Jerry asks me 'have you ever done any sales before"? I said I had and he wanted to know if I would want to work for him selling cars on the internet. Not my kind of job but I've been looking and praying that God would help me find a job. So I said sure I could do that I'm just not real good on a computer and haven't done sales in years and I have nerve problems , talk about a confident attitude. I'm scared ok...... So jerry says well what kind of work have you done . Construction I say. Your just what I need Jerry says. I need a person who will work with me and the owner of many many car dealerships through the NW. You will just go to each dealership and tell us what needs paint, tile , shelves, fence, whatever. You will just hire the contractors and and get the work done. A mediator per say between the owner and contractor. Wow thats what I've done all my life. There goes my head spinning again, what if its to much for me , I haven't worked in a couple years, what if I do it wrong. Oh wait Jerry's talking again. How much do I want? Who me ? I don't know. How about a thousand a month. He is laughing at me now. He asks what I made in CA and I laugh nervously and say the amount. He didn't even blink. I think thats doable he said ,I just swallowed my napkin , kidding. He said he'd check with the owner and see what he says. Did I mention that I was scared ? Oh yes, so we head home my thoughts going a hundred miles an hour . I started praying Lord I'm scared if this is what I'm supposed to do you are going to have to just force it on me cause I won't be out there trying to get this kind of job. Next morning bright and early dear Jerry is calling. He talked to the owner and he said 1500 dollars a month less than what I made in CA after 11years, but he would get me full insurance, medical,dental and eye care from the day I start. They will supply me with a vehicle of my choosing from the dealerships, I will be given a company credit card for gas food and anything I needed. I would set my hours, they don't care just as long as the work gets done. No more than 40 hours a week. Oh the kicker here is I have a meeting with the owner on tuesday to sign a contract for two years saying I will be paid for two year whether I work or am fire I would still get paid.
So here I am supposedly have a job to start soon with a possible 6 digit income and my jaw is dragging on the floor. Is this all coincidence. I don't think so . Am I worthy of some reward? Absolutely not. I don't know if this is all going to happen yet but I needed to vent it out. Is it a miracle ? I would say 100 percent so. Whatever happens in the near future you will be the first ones to know. If you want to experience God give everything to Him without reservation ( very difficult) and watch what happens . My story isn't close to finished but God has protected me and loved me even though I'm like a stubborn little child , I so glad He is patient with me. I praise Him from my heart. Not because I might get this job, but because He loves me and I truly feel that now.He is my protection from this world. Another step in my life that God is drawing me nearer to him. I'm hoping to hear from someone else what God is doing in their life , big or small it is a awesome thing and sharing it with others will help people like me who get down and need to feel that encouragement. It means so much.
God's love is great and His protection like a big warm blanket that keeps us safe. Try it, you won't be disappointed Until next time
Sunday, February 20, 2011
What Right ?
Today I have to say I feel more normal. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I am so happy to be surrounded by such a diverse crowd of friends that love the Lord. Every individual comes from a different background, different time in life , different depth of knowledge of God. Yet when I stop and listen to what each person says it makes me realize that each person can give me thoughts and ideas that are very different yet all a very relevant to growing in Christ. That is being part of the family of God . Right? Makes me want to keep smiling.
The awesome part of it is we can all have our differences and yet, as God as the center of our lives we can honestly talk to each other without fighting and picking at each other. Peter and Paul both talk about christians being known by their love. Yet so many of the so called christians I have met can be the most condemning , judgmental , unkind people I have ever been around. Why? Then there is the true christians that are the kindest most loving people around. So here I am not wanting to be judgmental ,wondering are all of these people really christians or not . I know its not for me to worry about. Its up to me to be kind, not condemning. If someone comes to me with obvious sin in their life, according to the way I live my life,or my belief is it my job to condemn them and let them know what a failure they are? I don't think so, if God treats me according to the way I treat other people where is that going to put me? Not a good place. I've heard it said that we aren't judging if we see it is not according to Gods word. So I have been a christian for two years and experienced the feelings of guilt over something I have done, does that mean the new christian I have just met should feel that guilt also, and if not are they condemned in Gods eyes. You tell me. Sure we need to have rules and guidelines , but how far can we go until we are adding to Gods word . What is the greatest commandment? Jesus said it Love the Lord your God and love one another. We must have faith and be born again, we must follow God's commandments , and bear fruit. Basically we need to live a life crucified to this world and sin. At what point in my christian life then do I have the right to condemn others because they don't do things exactly like I do or believe. I have two friends that I have known for many years . They both live very Godly lives and totally believe the way they live is the most scriptural way to live , but in doing so they would be condemning the other person to a point of saying they aren' t saved. So who is right? They both say they are and back it up with scripture. .My thought is they have both worked out their salvation with fear and trembling and totally love God with out a doubt and both are right as long as they don't lose sight of God because of their religion. Does that make sense? Who says who is right? I think only God can be that judge. I found that if I start studying in the Bible with a preconceived idea that I almost always end up making the scriptures fit what I want them to say instead of really looking at the whole picture. It is difficult to do , but very necessary as far as I am concerned to make sure I study with prejudices.
What it all boils down to for me is if we were put under some sort of persecution for what we believe the unity of Gods family would truly show itself then. The true christians would stand out like stars in the dark sky. So why can't we do that now, what are we afraid of , where is our love . Helping people is a great thing when it is done in the spirit of love but done in a spirit of condemnation or lack of love is quite possibly the most disrespectful, degrading situation a person can be put . To the point that a weak believer could easily lose their salvation. I would really hate to think of the consequences of such unloving actions. I just pray that God will help me to love in the way I can encourage people and make them want to follow my Lord and feel His love through me to them. I have a long ways to go in this perspective of life. So I am going to try to think of me being in their shoes first and how I would feel if they treated me the way I have treated them. As far as I can tell doesn't matter what we do in this life , without love it all means nothing to God. I'm praying that I can learn to show love to others with out judging. Even if their is obvious sin in their lives who am I to condemn them. I can encourage them to grow by example. And always stand for the principles that I have but not in a condescending manner to the other person.
I truly think if I have God's love flowing through me I will not be out condemning people but showing them through love how to find God and He will accomplish His work in them. I know there is much more to this as far as teaching the Word but I have to start somewhere. Why are a lot of christians the hardest people to work for? Is it good stewardship or just love of money and possessions. For me its was about making sure nobody would ruin " my" stuff or not give me what I deserved. The question I have now is what do I deserve. Death in the lake of fire Right? But God gave His Son to die for me so I didn't have to die. Did I deserve that ,noooo, Sorry I feel like I'm ranting because I feel like there is not much love passed around in christian circles and II am one of the worst. So pray that we can all learn to love like God wants us to love.
Until next time God Bless
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saved or Not ?
Its Tuesday are you all so excited? I should be but instead I drag around like a boneless chicken. What is wrong with me ? I try to go to sleep around 11 and get up about 8 . Maybe to much rest? I used to sleep 5 hours a nite and was fine. Now 8 or nine hours and before noon I want to take a nap. My driving makes mother very nervous. I went to sleep at the stop light the other day. After half dozen cars passed me, mom realized her lovely son was resting a little to long. Then every Starbucks became a destination point. Thinking enough caffeine will definately work. Well it didn't till I got home and ready to sleep. I lay there wide eyed , staring at the ceiling. My nerves wound tight as a string. Snooky decided that it would be wise to sleep on the other side of the room ,being he has a serious licking and smacking problem that doesn't bode well with bad nerves.
I'm hopeless , in three years I have become an old man. I feel guilty because I should be happy . Happy about life. God loves me I think, problem 1. I should be happy that I have a nice home to live in, instead I see all the things that were done only half way or as cheap as possible and now are falling apart, problem 2. I should be so happy my mother is helping me financially since I haven't worked in over two years , instead it makes me crazy that I have to use her money . I hate that. Problem 3 I have given away almost all the clothes I had bought in the last 5 or 6 years. You know all the expensive brands. Actually I don't really miss them. Now I'm selling my car ,why? because I think I need the money and I feel its Gods will. I will explain that later once the sell is completed. . I miss my car , you know how when someone drives up in that fancy car and everyone stops to look, I understand why He took it away , so no one needs to tell me . Hahaha Now I'll be rolling up in a minivan with my mom. Where does all this leave me ? Well really depressed because I don't know what going away next . I actually bought some clothes from Goodwill. I know you are all rolling your eyes , give me time I'm learning.!!! I know you are thinking he needs to go spend a couple years in the jungle and then he'd know what its like to do without. Maybe I should, I don't know but if God tells me to go I will, maybe not willingly but I will. Then on top of this I feel guilty, How many times should I confess.? Have I told everyone I was a sinner and I said I was sorry for my sins. Well if I haven't I just did. I know I have influenced a lot of people in my life and I wonder if thats why I still feel guilty. So I'm sorry to all the people I have had a bad influence on or treated badly . Really one day I feel like I'm forgiven then the next day I'm right back to square one.
Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe its that I don't have enough faith? I don't know. so any help is welcomed. How do I know if its just me trying really hard or when God is helping me. I have a hard time distinguishing between them. I'm guessing that wrong also.
Sometime I feel like I'm going backwards. Could be I am clinically depressed. Thats what I need more meds. Sorry for all the ugliness I said you were going to get it all . That you have my friends. I do appreciate all the help and comments from all of you. Someday I shall walk around and smile all day just because I can until then lets keep praying for each other and that God will send a real true revival to all of us . Get up and get out and tell someone. When was the last time you truly sat down and talked to someone about the Lord? I haven't in over a week. I'm sure the Lord is so proud, I must be really excited about Him........Life is going to get better!!!
Pray my friends Pray Until next time
I'm hopeless , in three years I have become an old man. I feel guilty because I should be happy . Happy about life. God loves me I think, problem 1. I should be happy that I have a nice home to live in, instead I see all the things that were done only half way or as cheap as possible and now are falling apart, problem 2. I should be so happy my mother is helping me financially since I haven't worked in over two years , instead it makes me crazy that I have to use her money . I hate that. Problem 3 I have given away almost all the clothes I had bought in the last 5 or 6 years. You know all the expensive brands. Actually I don't really miss them. Now I'm selling my car ,why? because I think I need the money and I feel its Gods will. I will explain that later once the sell is completed. . I miss my car , you know how when someone drives up in that fancy car and everyone stops to look, I understand why He took it away , so no one needs to tell me . Hahaha Now I'll be rolling up in a minivan with my mom. Where does all this leave me ? Well really depressed because I don't know what going away next . I actually bought some clothes from Goodwill. I know you are all rolling your eyes , give me time I'm learning.!!! I know you are thinking he needs to go spend a couple years in the jungle and then he'd know what its like to do without. Maybe I should, I don't know but if God tells me to go I will, maybe not willingly but I will. Then on top of this I feel guilty, How many times should I confess.? Have I told everyone I was a sinner and I said I was sorry for my sins. Well if I haven't I just did. I know I have influenced a lot of people in my life and I wonder if thats why I still feel guilty. So I'm sorry to all the people I have had a bad influence on or treated badly . Really one day I feel like I'm forgiven then the next day I'm right back to square one.
Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe its that I don't have enough faith? I don't know. so any help is welcomed. How do I know if its just me trying really hard or when God is helping me. I have a hard time distinguishing between them. I'm guessing that wrong also.
Sometime I feel like I'm going backwards. Could be I am clinically depressed. Thats what I need more meds. Sorry for all the ugliness I said you were going to get it all . That you have my friends. I do appreciate all the help and comments from all of you. Someday I shall walk around and smile all day just because I can until then lets keep praying for each other and that God will send a real true revival to all of us . Get up and get out and tell someone. When was the last time you truly sat down and talked to someone about the Lord? I haven't in over a week. I'm sure the Lord is so proud, I must be really excited about Him........Life is going to get better!!!
Pray my friends Pray Until next time
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Awe to Sleep or Not
Its thursday already and I haven't written anything . Its much easier to write something when you don't need to. My life is just a series of ups and downs. Nothing really changes much just do the day to day motions of living and then sleep. Sleep is really underrated . Sometimes I feel like I could sleep for a month straight, and I would probably still be tired. I can sleep anywhere at any time. Driving, sit at the chiropractor office, talking to someone, reading, it really doesn't matter where I am at I can sleep.
Mom and my sister decided that I have sleep apenea and got me this wonderful contraption that you strap to your head and it pumps air into you. I can see how it could work , the problem is I can't find a way to turn the pressure down so after having it on for an hour or so I could inflate a couple tires on my own I have so much pressure. My head feels like its going explode , I guess thats why they put all the straps on the device. Not to hold it to your head, but to hold your head together. I put it on once and actually went to sleep for a few minutes , but when I did my mouth came open and I sounded like a jet engine with serious mechanical problems , Hissing and spluttering, my dog went to the other room. He wanted no part of what was going on with me. So how can you sleep well at night ? I can't sleep on a bed its to soft so I sleep on the floor.
Other news of the day, my diet worked fairly good last week. I wasn't super careful about what I ate but was careful not to eat in the evenings. I lost 5 pounds so I'm happy . Only a hundred pounds to go.
Yesterday I took my car into a consignment place to sell, Sad day but really no other choice, I need the money and don't have the money anymore to do the upkeep on it, I grudgingly told God its His to do whatever He wanted to do with it. I keep reading that verse that says' seek ye first the kingdom of heaven,' I don't see how that car helped me do that , so hopefully it will sell soon and I'm going to go buy some tools . If thats His plan if not whatever His plan is. I'm committed now so its up to Him. I'm not crazy , well I'm pretty sure I'm not. Patience thats what I need , I have no patience, I'm quite sure that God is telling me to wait so again I grudgingly do it. I'm like one of those really obstinate sons. No wonder I get a lot of discipline. My advice here is if God asks you to do something , big or small , just do it. Things will end up much better.
I really wish there was a sign I would just read and know what God wants, but as everyone knows that not the way it works. The way I'm starting to see it is the Bible is pretty clear what God's will is for me and what His purpose for my life is, so I'm going to try to follow that as well as I can and see if the rest falls into place. Not exactly sure how thats going to work but I'm starting , car is one of the first things to go. Not much else left of my old life so I'll see where I get headed next. Oh man my sisters don't know about this one yet so they're going to be checking to see which screw came loose this time. Does anyone else think about this stuff or is it just me having to much time on my hands.
I think I'm going to go prune so trees today, I watched how to do it on youtube so I'm excited to go hack up a couple apple trees. For some reason I'm guessing the video makes it look easier than it really is. Yesterday and this morning when I got up there was a big bright light in a blue colored sky. Does anyone know what it is , if you get the light on you it feels warm. The sky here is always gray and no bright lights. : )
Keep following God , don't be depressed for no reason, like me. Life is really good , God is good. I just make myself miserable. I'll try to do better next time
Love God, love everyone . See ya next time.
Mom and my sister decided that I have sleep apenea and got me this wonderful contraption that you strap to your head and it pumps air into you. I can see how it could work , the problem is I can't find a way to turn the pressure down so after having it on for an hour or so I could inflate a couple tires on my own I have so much pressure. My head feels like its going explode , I guess thats why they put all the straps on the device. Not to hold it to your head, but to hold your head together. I put it on once and actually went to sleep for a few minutes , but when I did my mouth came open and I sounded like a jet engine with serious mechanical problems , Hissing and spluttering, my dog went to the other room. He wanted no part of what was going on with me. So how can you sleep well at night ? I can't sleep on a bed its to soft so I sleep on the floor.
Other news of the day, my diet worked fairly good last week. I wasn't super careful about what I ate but was careful not to eat in the evenings. I lost 5 pounds so I'm happy . Only a hundred pounds to go.
Yesterday I took my car into a consignment place to sell, Sad day but really no other choice, I need the money and don't have the money anymore to do the upkeep on it, I grudgingly told God its His to do whatever He wanted to do with it. I keep reading that verse that says' seek ye first the kingdom of heaven,' I don't see how that car helped me do that , so hopefully it will sell soon and I'm going to go buy some tools . If thats His plan if not whatever His plan is. I'm committed now so its up to Him. I'm not crazy , well I'm pretty sure I'm not. Patience thats what I need , I have no patience, I'm quite sure that God is telling me to wait so again I grudgingly do it. I'm like one of those really obstinate sons. No wonder I get a lot of discipline. My advice here is if God asks you to do something , big or small , just do it. Things will end up much better.
I really wish there was a sign I would just read and know what God wants, but as everyone knows that not the way it works. The way I'm starting to see it is the Bible is pretty clear what God's will is for me and what His purpose for my life is, so I'm going to try to follow that as well as I can and see if the rest falls into place. Not exactly sure how thats going to work but I'm starting , car is one of the first things to go. Not much else left of my old life so I'll see where I get headed next. Oh man my sisters don't know about this one yet so they're going to be checking to see which screw came loose this time. Does anyone else think about this stuff or is it just me having to much time on my hands.
I think I'm going to go prune so trees today, I watched how to do it on youtube so I'm excited to go hack up a couple apple trees. For some reason I'm guessing the video makes it look easier than it really is. Yesterday and this morning when I got up there was a big bright light in a blue colored sky. Does anyone know what it is , if you get the light on you it feels warm. The sky here is always gray and no bright lights. : )
Keep following God , don't be depressed for no reason, like me. Life is really good , God is good. I just make myself miserable. I'll try to do better next time
Love God, love everyone . See ya next time.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Knowing God or Experiencing Him ?
I have been as you all know searching and trying to learn more about God . I'm really only getting started but, I'm thinking already that I need to rethink how I'm studying it. If I would have been like the Greeks back in the day I would study and learn everything about God that I could find and then say I know God . But would I really know Him or just have a knowledge of who He is ? As an example say a couple of boys are studying about fathers. One boy with out a father goes to school and learns what a father would do , how he acts , what he would require, and how he would love . Then says he knows the father. Now say the other boy has a father and daily feels the love , the discipline , and the security that a father gives. Who do you suppose has a clearer picture of a father? Simple and I feel it has to be the same with God. All the studying in the world is not anything compared to a few minutes spent with our Father. I need to personally experience God, I want to feel His love, His security, His compassion, and discipline.
Not to say that studying isn't good, it is because of the studying that you can learn more of God. It is in the application of my studying that can bring me closer to Him. Satan has a way of always being right there to mess things up though. Sometimes I can read the same verse a couple of times and can't remember what its about, because he gets my mind to wander.
Seems like months now that I have struggled with knowing true love for God and others, Then prayer also, I can study , and still not know what true prayer is . I can't tell you what a struggle I had with this. As you know I have had a lot of things to deal with, and I'm so glad God's Spirit only reveals them to me a little at a time. If He would just drop them all on me at once I could never deal with it. But a little here and a little there, I can do that. I believe I'm beginning to experience God. Feeling or experiencing God can come at strange times but always when I need it the most. A couple of night ago I woke up about 4 am , Couldn't go back to sleep even though I was very tired. I got up thinking I would go read something because me trying to read in the mornings is like taking a sleeping pill. I stood up and felt like I just kinda stuck in that position, Still half awake I was jolted into being fully awake. As I stood there I felt this incredible feeling of a presence with me . Not in the room but in me . I scared , I was happy , I realized it was God's way of letting me really experience Him . I can not describe the feeling but as I stood there I began to pray, I prayed and prayed, about people I knew about people I didn't really know well at all , about situations , the words just kept coming and coming . I have never prayed like that in my life. I haven't felt a need for tears and emotions. But I'm telling you the tears started coming , I felt a joy I hadn't felt before. I wanted to jump up and tell the whole world and make them understand what they are missing , if they don't have God in their lives.
I prayed for maybe 2 hours and it seemed like 10 minutes. It was unbelievable. God is teaching me how to pray, I'm so excited I feel,like shouting . There was no sleepy time here. He made me stand up . It's hard to sleep when you are standing. He helped me know who to pray for. I thought we needed to be personally involved with a person or situation in order to know how to pray for them , now I don't think so because He helps you to know what to pray. Where is the verse that says His Spirit teaches us to pray and sometimes prays for us when we don't know how. Wow All I can say is if you are praying and not feeling like its doing any good. Get to your Bible and start studying prayer. It takes time , experience what God has for you. I have been studying for 2 years and God is letting me experience things that are going to change my life forever.
I want everyone to know what this is like . God is awesome. I am learning to love can you imagine? Its like all the grime and dirt of the past are being washed out of here. I don't know that much about all of it yet, but this I do know, if your a struggling in your christian life and in prayer, just stop for a while, study God's word and when you feel God speaking to you about something , DO IT. Not partially all the way. It takes time. I have been so depressed the last couple months because of anger, bitterness, not forgiving, not feeling my prayers are working, it was all part of God helping me to learn. Until I told God I would do whatever He asks of me , I was not ready to take the next step in my christian life.
If I sound to overly full of joy and excitement and you think I need to settle down and stop shouting well I'm not sorry : ) Because I am full of joy and that is sooooooo much better than the alternative. Thanks to all of you who are praying for me , its working and please don't stop because I think God has a whole lot more and I'm jumping up and down (in my mind of course) because I'm excited. If your not excited why?
Experience God , see what happens to you. Peace, love , and joy to all
Monday, January 31, 2011
Where Is Truth
This is great I'm supposed to write a couple times a week , but then who is making the rules? There are no rules here. Just shut up and do as you're told, thats it. I'm trying to think of things to write about that would be interesting, but I realized that I was at the wrong place. There isn't anything exciting going on around here. I did decide last weak after my sister told me that we have to many things, and thats why it is so hard to hear or find God, that starting tomorrow I'm only eating the very basic foods, vegies, fruits and a small amount of meat and nuts and very little carbs as a diet, but more than a diet. No eating after three pm except for one day a week. In case I need to make a meal for moms guests. During the long absences of food I will study God's Word and pray, at least 3 hours a day maybe more. This is going to go for 90 days. Seriously I need to loose weight and learn discipline so what a better way. You can all be my judges,and coaches, or just yell at me every so often so I don't go to sleep. Then of course there is the exercising which will have to start slowly and work up to an hour a day. I now have at least four hours a day that I will be busy.
I intend to find out what it is like to be a homeless person by spending a day or more out walking the streets and interacting with others who are homeless. My sister says I have lost my mind but I knew that many years ago. I want to spend time at a retirement center talking to people my age : -) or older and time at the hospital to visit people who are really sick , thats going to be a tough one since going to the hospital is a real phobia for me. I need to experience real life , true life , not this ' hoity doity' life of everything being perfect or at least pretend it is. I want truth , how do people truly feel , how do I truly feel about myself , about others , about God. It not a pretty sight but its real and thats what God wants I believe. And till I get to the place where I can willingly just go out and face the world with the true light of God coming from my heart , what is the use of living. I have come to the conclusion that nothing else matters. As long as I sit and talk and do nothing I will receive nothing. It all sounds good writing these little blogs about how God is helping me along but honestly how much am I doing for Him. Lets put it this way, if everyone does as much as I do for the Lord how much is going to get done? I'm scared to think about that, yet I think I need to ask God to bless me? Ha Its amazing when you start writing things down how you can make yourself look like a fool. Well God knows my heart and I truly want to do His will. Until now I have been very hesitant to just say whatever you want God , thinking He might ask more than I'm ready to give. Whats that do? Just leaves me outside of God's will where I'm miserable in my own little not so perfect world. So give it all to Him, He will send me where He wants and I will live in His will and make His will my will so I can be happy. Is that the way it works? I hope so cause thats where I'm going. Like I said earlier I think 2011 is going to be a bumpy ride!!!
Well I better get down off my little box and write a disclaimer : all the plans that are written above are subject to change in the event that Galen realizes that God has a completely different plan for Him or if he chickens out and runs. Kidding. Sorta. I am scared but I'm going to do it, what do I have to loose thats worth more than eternity with Christ? I had a bunch of other dumb questions I was going ask but now they seem to be of no importance at all. So I'll leave homopathy/ witchcraft questions for another day. Lets pray my friends that somehow we can open our heart to the truth, not just the parts we like, all of it, and be willing to let God take complete control.
Sounds like that Jesus take the wheel song. : -) Does this get you excited about God or am I just giving myself a pep talk? Actually I know a few of you that are the reason I'm heading this direction. I know you know who you are. Thanks to all for your input on my wanderings. Its nice to have company on this narrow little road. May God be our one and only
Monday, January 24, 2011
I Think I've Wandered Off Today
I think I wandered off. Don't know how really, just living life day to day ,working at life and trying to stay focused on God, What do I do ? I just wander off to the land of rotten thoughts and doubts . Why? . Does everyone else do this and fake the happy, love to all , everything is perfect feeling? Or are they truly on to something and I'm just to full of doubt or blinded to it. I don't know. No one else has these feelings of doubt ? I keep hearing that our salvation should not be emotional just based on facts. Then why am I all over the place ?
Ok for an example, due to the way I have lived my miserable life, my thoughts are , in a constant battle over things that are good to think about and filthy dirty rotten thoughts. Its just a nonstop battle. I pray and pray and tell God I sorry time after time after time. No one else does this ? If they admitted it all their friends and family will think they are a crazy pervert , sorry can't think of a better word. So we cover everything up and pretend its not there or is it? I know I know God is here to help us and we need to listen and follow Him. Thats a wonderful idea for people who only have wonderful pure thoughts running through their heads. But thats not my head. Of course its a very embarrassing subject, no one wants to talk about, and I'm sure I'll hear about it. I'm fine with that. I just want to know what everyone else does . Or are all those thoughts suppose to go away when we get saved. If thats the case then all my doubts will be confirmed "I'm going to hell". Thats pretty much how I feel all the time, because I can't control my thoughts and emotions. Satan knows where my problems are and he isn't going to give up easily. Ever feel like you would just like to scream at the top of your lungs for a while ? Thats me right now.
Every way I turn it's like the doors are slammed in my face. I'm feeling very boxed in and very pinned in. Is it really that hard to love God just because we can't see him. Look at everything He has done for us and His own Son died for us, so having problems like this is completely uncalled for. When I think of how pure and loving God is , how can I even think the kind of stuff I do. It is a lack of something for sure. I need to know what that lack is, because I'm going crazy here.
I'm sorry to all my friends for freaking out. This battle never seems to end. I'm tired and want to be happy for a little while. Is there ever any peace. I need it . Somedays I feel like I could sleep for a month and still not feel rested. I'll stop with the bellyaching. I have to thank God for taking that horrible pain out of my legs and lower back. I praise Him for that. I have a lot of negativity today, sorry I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I think I'd better go back to the hole I crawled out of . : )
Hoping for a better day.
Ok for an example, due to the way I have lived my miserable life, my thoughts are , in a constant battle over things that are good to think about and filthy dirty rotten thoughts. Its just a nonstop battle. I pray and pray and tell God I sorry time after time after time. No one else does this ? If they admitted it all their friends and family will think they are a crazy pervert , sorry can't think of a better word. So we cover everything up and pretend its not there or is it? I know I know God is here to help us and we need to listen and follow Him. Thats a wonderful idea for people who only have wonderful pure thoughts running through their heads. But thats not my head. Of course its a very embarrassing subject, no one wants to talk about, and I'm sure I'll hear about it. I'm fine with that. I just want to know what everyone else does . Or are all those thoughts suppose to go away when we get saved. If thats the case then all my doubts will be confirmed "I'm going to hell". Thats pretty much how I feel all the time, because I can't control my thoughts and emotions. Satan knows where my problems are and he isn't going to give up easily. Ever feel like you would just like to scream at the top of your lungs for a while ? Thats me right now.
Every way I turn it's like the doors are slammed in my face. I'm feeling very boxed in and very pinned in. Is it really that hard to love God just because we can't see him. Look at everything He has done for us and His own Son died for us, so having problems like this is completely uncalled for. When I think of how pure and loving God is , how can I even think the kind of stuff I do. It is a lack of something for sure. I need to know what that lack is, because I'm going crazy here.
I'm sorry to all my friends for freaking out. This battle never seems to end. I'm tired and want to be happy for a little while. Is there ever any peace. I need it . Somedays I feel like I could sleep for a month and still not feel rested. I'll stop with the bellyaching. I have to thank God for taking that horrible pain out of my legs and lower back. I praise Him for that. I have a lot of negativity today, sorry I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I think I'd better go back to the hole I crawled out of . : )
Hoping for a better day.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
gvyoder: Random Thoughts
gvyoder: Random Thoughts: "Another morning, awoke to the phone ringing. Thanks to my dear papa when he was living, liked the convenience of a phone at ev..."
Random Thoughts
Another morning, awoke to the phone ringing. Thanks to my dear papa when he was living, liked the convenience of a phone at every turn. Not only is there a phone placed about six feet apart, they are equipped with ringers that are deafening . So early morning call are very welcome. My sister calls and laughs at me because my brain doesn't function well and speech reflects that. So the morning is off to a running start. Heard from a friend this morning thats going through a hard time and really needs our prayers. Now I realize how good I have it, yes my life is a bit boring, and yes I live like I'm 70 instead of 50. But overall I have it pretty good. We tend to forget about all the people that are hurting and I don't mean a little. I'm talking about the ones who have to live minute by minute relying on God to help them just to make it through the day. How can I help them more. I tend to try to say the right things to help them feel better and then say a little prayer and go on my way. I don't think thats right. Why is it so hard to just drop things and say I'm here to help you with what ever you need for today. If thats not appropriate what about really seriously crying out to God on their behalf. Thinking about what I was learning about prayer , God wants me to pray for others and to help Him release His blessings on them . Of course now I'm back to trying to know Gods will. I was reading the other day about Mary the mother of Jesus. In John 2:1-10 or 12 I was just amazed at how Mary made her request. When she found out they were out of wine she didn't go to Jesus in a fluster and tell Him what He needed to do. Nope all she said is they have no wine. Simple confident statement. No directions or words of advice and no begging. Jesus tells her "what do I have to do with you" and she didn't hesitate,to go ahead in complete faith that Jesus would solve the problem . She tells the servants to do what ever Jesus told them. I find that absolutely amazing . Why can't my prayers be the same. Just state the need to God . I dont need to give Him a full prescription request. No just a simple request in Hs will and He will answer. I need to trust. Where is my faith ? Like the title says random thoughts, I was also thinking back over the last few blogs. And the one about it being hard to pray. I came to the conclusion in that blog that without love and the presence of unforgiveness or bitterness in prayer is a hinderance to God hearing us. That night I was up most of the night asking God to forgive my bitterness and lack of love. I asked Him to help me rid that out of my life. HE DID .......He really did help me get rid of the horrible feelings of bitterness. Up to this point I had woke up every morning for more than a month with excruciating pain in my legs and back. I was living on pain pills. What happened that night totally negated the pain I was having. How I don't know. Miracle? I don't know but I thank God for giving me relief. I actually didn't realize it until a couple days later. So I let it go for a while thinking maybe it was going to come back . Praise God it hasn't. Is there a connection between pain and bitterness. I don't know but its gone and I feel like a different person. If any of you have experiences like that I would love to hear them. Once I get through the prayer study I want to look at bitterness and forgiveness and see the benefits and consequences to each of them. Well I completely just rambled on and on today I'll try to do better. Have a great day | draft |
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Basis of Prayer? Is it more than just talking to God
Last week I was going to write out this long essay on what I thought the basis of prayer was , I tried twice to write it out and both times I felt like it wasn't what God wanted. So I'm still here at the starting line, revving my engine but don't really know which direction I'm racing towards.
My first thinking was that God wanted us to pray to Him to express our love and devotion to Him and to ask Him for things we need. I still think that is true to a point but I'm thinking there is more. Why are we commanded to pray. If God knows our thought, knows our actions, and knows our needs before we do, why is it necessary for us to pray ? If we pray to Him always like he says " pray without ceasing", we know He will answer according to His will . Its says in Prov.19:21 Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. To me thats saying we can have all sorts of plans but if they don't align themselves with God's will our prayers are not going to be answered they way we think or plan. God's plan and purpose for our lives here on earth are foremost not what we think we need or want.
What was Gods plan for man, it says in Gen 1 :26-29 that God put man on the earth and said we will make man in our image and let them have dominion over the earth . Ps 8:6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet. Ps 115:16 The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth he has given to man.
Seems to me that God made man to be the ruler, caretaker, or overseer of the earth. God didn't say let us have dominion over the earth, no He said let them "man" have dominion. Man was created , given dominion or full authority over the earthly realm and God will not supercede that authority. By God doing this, men and women are essential for the accomplishment of God's plans and purposes on earth.
Simply put , God's plan is for man to desire what He desires , to will what God wills and to ask Him to accomplish His purposes on earth . We could say that prayer is man giving God the freedom to intervene in earths affairs. 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God ; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. Mat. 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. When we align ourselves with God's will through the washing of His word , our prayers will release God's power on earth . Prayer is calling forth what God has already purposed and predestinated. I know there is a verse somewhere that says something to the effect that our prayers are already answered we just need to release them. But I can't find it. Maybe not ?
"When we pray in His will all that God is and all that God has can be received through prayer." Monroe. Does anyone realize what that means . I do but have way to small of faith to even comprehend it. That's my idea for the basis of prayer. God gave the authority on earth , by prayer we release His power on earth. With out our prayers God will not intervene in the affairs of the earth . So even if God know what we think and need He needs us to pray to release His blessing to us.
My condensed version of only the" basis for prayer" there is tons more as far as knowing Gods will, praising and worshipping and communion with Him. I'm I right, wrong , off my rocker , crazy, don't be scared , tell me what you think. I appreciate scripture to back up your thoughts.
Praying to understand better the reasons for praying
My first thinking was that God wanted us to pray to Him to express our love and devotion to Him and to ask Him for things we need. I still think that is true to a point but I'm thinking there is more. Why are we commanded to pray. If God knows our thought, knows our actions, and knows our needs before we do, why is it necessary for us to pray ? If we pray to Him always like he says " pray without ceasing", we know He will answer according to His will . Its says in Prov.19:21 Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. To me thats saying we can have all sorts of plans but if they don't align themselves with God's will our prayers are not going to be answered they way we think or plan. God's plan and purpose for our lives here on earth are foremost not what we think we need or want.
What was Gods plan for man, it says in Gen 1 :26-29 that God put man on the earth and said we will make man in our image and let them have dominion over the earth . Ps 8:6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet. Ps 115:16 The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth he has given to man.
Seems to me that God made man to be the ruler, caretaker, or overseer of the earth. God didn't say let us have dominion over the earth, no He said let them "man" have dominion. Man was created , given dominion or full authority over the earthly realm and God will not supercede that authority. By God doing this, men and women are essential for the accomplishment of God's plans and purposes on earth.
Simply put , God's plan is for man to desire what He desires , to will what God wills and to ask Him to accomplish His purposes on earth . We could say that prayer is man giving God the freedom to intervene in earths affairs. 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God ; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. Mat. 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. When we align ourselves with God's will through the washing of His word , our prayers will release God's power on earth . Prayer is calling forth what God has already purposed and predestinated. I know there is a verse somewhere that says something to the effect that our prayers are already answered we just need to release them. But I can't find it. Maybe not ?
"When we pray in His will all that God is and all that God has can be received through prayer." Monroe. Does anyone realize what that means . I do but have way to small of faith to even comprehend it. That's my idea for the basis of prayer. God gave the authority on earth , by prayer we release His power on earth. With out our prayers God will not intervene in the affairs of the earth . So even if God know what we think and need He needs us to pray to release His blessing to us.
My condensed version of only the" basis for prayer" there is tons more as far as knowing Gods will, praising and worshipping and communion with Him. I'm I right, wrong , off my rocker , crazy, don't be scared , tell me what you think. I appreciate scripture to back up your thoughts.
Praying to understand better the reasons for praying
Friday, January 14, 2011
Mornings my favorite time
Woke up today feeling like I had eaten my pillow. My mouth was dry my nose felt like it was moved a couple inches to the left and my dog Snooky wouldn't come anywhere close to me. Awe yeah, its going to b a great day!
Seriously I think it has now rained for more than a month straight which helps so much with my love of life and joy I feel for the new day. I can't even get my dog to go outside to go potty. He walks to the door looks out at the rain, turns and beats feet back to his bed. I don't blame him really. Glad my bathroom is inside otherwise I might end up with an enlarged bladder. I'm feeling a little negative this morning. Possibly need another pot of coffee , you know the special brand we buy at a discount at Walmart. I love a good cup of coffee and thats not it.
Maybe I shouldn't write in the morning because I just read over what I wrote, wow I'm just a bundle of joy. Note to all my friends early morning calls usually receive a warm welcome and I'm very talkative . ha
So today I'm planning on working at my new business. I need to be happy and upbeat , with no signs of negativity. Seems I'm the perfect candidate for that. I'm a bundle of joy and energy. Trust me its all about the vision. No really if I got up each morning without a vision or goal I would never get anywhere. Then I have to be sure that all my goals include my Lord. Because as you can tell I need Him everyday in the worst way. Think what a joy I would be with out Him.
So they tell me in my business that out of 12 people I talk to 1 will say yes. I need to up that figure to 12 for 12. Because I just don't have the patience . I'm think physical force meet be a good option. You know sign here or meet my little friend billy the club. Maybe not such a good idea. Oh well its the thought that counts . Sales can be tough but they pay off very well, so Im going for it. If anyone is good at sales and wants to make good money email me. I promise I'm just a wonderful person to work with. : ) Like the way I worked a little sales pitch in there. Almost subliminal. Always wondered if that would work Isell) you know (sell) doing subliminal messaging (sell) as you were(sell) talking to people(sell). If You (sell) have ever (sell) had that done (sell) to you (sell) let me know(sell) and how it (sell) affected you (sell). Seems like (sell) an interesting (sell) concept (sell) (sell) (sell) Sorry my sell button got stuck : )
Im off for the day , going to see what I can accomplish . Later
Seriously I think it has now rained for more than a month straight which helps so much with my love of life and joy I feel for the new day. I can't even get my dog to go outside to go potty. He walks to the door looks out at the rain, turns and beats feet back to his bed. I don't blame him really. Glad my bathroom is inside otherwise I might end up with an enlarged bladder. I'm feeling a little negative this morning. Possibly need another pot of coffee , you know the special brand we buy at a discount at Walmart. I love a good cup of coffee and thats not it.
Maybe I shouldn't write in the morning because I just read over what I wrote, wow I'm just a bundle of joy. Note to all my friends early morning calls usually receive a warm welcome and I'm very talkative . ha
So today I'm planning on working at my new business. I need to be happy and upbeat , with no signs of negativity. Seems I'm the perfect candidate for that. I'm a bundle of joy and energy. Trust me its all about the vision. No really if I got up each morning without a vision or goal I would never get anywhere. Then I have to be sure that all my goals include my Lord. Because as you can tell I need Him everyday in the worst way. Think what a joy I would be with out Him.
So they tell me in my business that out of 12 people I talk to 1 will say yes. I need to up that figure to 12 for 12. Because I just don't have the patience . I'm think physical force meet be a good option. You know sign here or meet my little friend billy the club. Maybe not such a good idea. Oh well its the thought that counts . Sales can be tough but they pay off very well, so Im going for it. If anyone is good at sales and wants to make good money email me. I promise I'm just a wonderful person to work with. : ) Like the way I worked a little sales pitch in there. Almost subliminal. Always wondered if that would work Isell) you know (sell) doing subliminal messaging (sell) as you were(sell) talking to people(sell). If You (sell) have ever (sell) had that done (sell) to you (sell) let me know(sell) and how it (sell) affected you (sell). Seems like (sell) an interesting (sell) concept (sell) (sell) (sell) Sorry my sell button got stuck : )
Im off for the day , going to see what I can accomplish . Later
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sundays My brain got stuck in neutral
Here I am again, was going to write about prayer but feel God stopped me because I get excited and write before I have all the facts. My internet died for about six hours today, so spent time studying. Has any one else moved home with their mom or dad to help care for them. Wow can I say big adjustment. I can't remember the last time I got step by step instructions for each and every move I make. Don't get me wrong I love my mother very much"bless her heart" but we are going to have to learn to ease up a little on the demands. I'm learning the true meanings of different questions. If you're asked to just help set up the quilt stands , that doesn't mean a one minute proceedure erecting the quilt stand , no that means three to four hours of relentless sewing , cutting , and knotting , that way its almost finished, when the specially invited guests come and cut and knot a couple strings and receive the atta boys, slaps on the back, and gasps of delight for all their hard work. Or just a mention of some sort of dirt or smudge on the floor doesn't mean that you walk by and are noticeably upset with the filth on the floor. Nope thats not what it means, that means get a bucket of water that is at least 180 degrees to where it blisters the skin quickly and add lots of soap, the one that is suitiable for the floor of course, then with the specially chosen rag you get down on all fours and wash the floor. OOhh I have another one, if you receive a plate or bowel of some sort of food product , and are told its reallllllly goooood . Might be good to beware. I can honestly say it was really good I was close to the toilet. Not sure what it was but its possible it tried to crawl back out on its own.
I've been taking notice also that my mom and I have quite a lot in common. By the time I hit 70 clear the way , afraid things might not be real pretty.
I really do love my mom and she does get harrassed a lot. I believe that it's my job. : ) She always seems to have a way of getting back at me though. Tuesday is her birthday and my sis and I are throwing her a little tea party . So we'll be busy making all kinds of little gourmet bites . Sweets and savory things. And tea of course. Anyone know a really goood tea I could serve ? I don't know teas very well.
This is what happens when my brain is in neutral to long. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to write something worthwhile. Hope your week is full
I've been taking notice also that my mom and I have quite a lot in common. By the time I hit 70 clear the way , afraid things might not be real pretty.
I really do love my mom and she does get harrassed a lot. I believe that it's my job. : ) She always seems to have a way of getting back at me though. Tuesday is her birthday and my sis and I are throwing her a little tea party . So we'll be busy making all kinds of little gourmet bites . Sweets and savory things. And tea of course. Anyone know a really goood tea I could serve ? I don't know teas very well.
This is what happens when my brain is in neutral to long. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to write something worthwhile. Hope your week is full
Thursday, January 6, 2011
gvyoder: 2011 So now what?
gvyoder: 2011 So now what?: "Hi everyone , its 2011 not sure what possessed me to write and tell all you wonderful people about my life and all my problems ...."
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