Where Is Truth

  This is great I'm supposed to write a couple times a week , but then who is making the rules? There are no rules here. Just shut up and do as you're told, thats it. I'm trying to think of things to write about that would be interesting, but I realized that I was at the wrong place. There isn't anything exciting going on around here.   I did decide last weak after my sister told me that we have to many things, and thats why it is so hard to hear or find God, that starting tomorrow I'm only eating the very basic foods, vegies, fruits and a small amount of meat and nuts and very little carbs as a diet, but more than a diet. No eating after three pm except for one day a week. In case I need to make a meal for moms guests. During the long absences of food I will study God's Word and pray, at least 3 hours a day maybe more.  This is going to go for 90 days. Seriously I need to loose weight and learn discipline so what a better way. You can all be my judges,and coaches, or just yell at me every so often so I don't go to sleep.  Then of course there is the exercising which will have to start slowly and work up to an hour a day.  I now have at least four hours a day that I will be busy. 

    I intend to find out what it is like to be a homeless person by spending a day or more out walking the streets and interacting with others who are homeless. My sister says I have lost my mind but I knew that many years ago. I want to spend time at a retirement center talking to people my age : -)  or older and time at the hospital to visit people who are really sick , thats going to be a tough one since going to the hospital is a real phobia for me.  I need to experience real life , true life , not this ' hoity doity' life of everything being perfect or at least pretend it is.  I want truth , how do people truly feel , how do I truly feel about myself , about others , about God. It not a pretty sight but its real and thats what God wants I believe. And till I get to the place where I can willingly just go out and face the world with the true light of God coming from my heart , what is the use of living.  I have come to the conclusion that nothing else matters. As long as I sit and talk and do nothing I will receive nothing. It all sounds good writing these little blogs about how God is helping me along but honestly how much am I doing for Him.   Lets put it this way, if everyone does as much as I do for the Lord how much is going to get done? I'm scared to think about that, yet I think I need to ask God to bless me? Ha Its amazing when you start writing things down how you can make yourself look like a fool. Well God knows my heart and I truly want to do His will. Until now I have been very hesitant to just say whatever you want God , thinking He might ask more than I'm ready to give.  Whats that do? Just leaves me outside of God's will where I'm miserable in my own little not so perfect world. So give it all to Him, He will send me where He wants and I will live in His will and make His will my will so I can be happy. Is that the way it works? I hope so cause thats where I'm going. Like I said earlier I think 2011 is going to be a bumpy ride!!! 

        Well I better get down off my little box and write a disclaimer : all the plans that are written above are subject to change in the event that Galen realizes that God has a completely different plan for Him or if he chickens out and runs. Kidding. Sorta.  I am scared but I'm going to do it, what do I have to loose thats worth more than eternity   with Christ?   I had a bunch of other dumb questions I was going ask but now they seem to be of no importance at all.   So I'll leave  homopathy/ witchcraft questions for another day.   Lets pray my friends  that somehow we can open our heart to the truth, not just the parts we like, all of it, and be willing to let God take complete control.

      Sounds like that Jesus take the wheel song. : -)   Does this get you  excited about God or am I just giving myself a pep talk?  Actually I know a few of you that are the reason I'm heading this direction. I know you know who you are.  Thanks to all for your input on my wanderings.  Its nice to have company on this narrow little road.      May God be our one and only  

I Think I've Wandered Off Today

I think I wandered off. Don't know how really, just living life day to day ,working at life and trying to stay focused on God, What do I do ?  I just wander off to the land of rotten thoughts and doubts . Why? . Does everyone else do this and fake the happy, love to all , everything is perfect  feeling? Or are they truly on to something and I'm  just to full of doubt or blinded to it. I don't know. No one else has these feelings of doubt ?   I keep hearing that our salvation should not be emotional just based on facts.  Then why am I all over the place ?
               Ok for an example, due to the way I have lived my miserable life, my thoughts are , in a constant battle over things that are good to think about and filthy dirty rotten thoughts. Its just a nonstop battle. I pray and pray and tell God I sorry time after time after time.  No one else does this ? If they admitted it all their friends and family will think they are a crazy pervert , sorry can't think of a better word.  So we cover everything up and pretend its not there or is it? I know I know God is here to help us  and we need to listen and follow Him. Thats a wonderful idea for people who only have wonderful pure thoughts running through their heads. But thats not my head. Of course its a very embarrassing subject, no one wants to talk about, and I'm sure I'll hear about it. I'm fine with that. I just want to know what everyone else does . Or are all those thoughts suppose to go away when we get saved.  If thats the case then all my doubts will be confirmed "I'm going to hell".   Thats pretty much how I feel all the time, because I can't control my thoughts and emotions.  Satan knows where my problems are and he isn't going to give up easily.   Ever feel like you would just like to scream at the top of your lungs for a while ? Thats me right now.
                 Every way I turn it's like the doors are slammed in my face. I'm feeling very boxed in and very pinned in.  Is it really that hard to love God just because we can't see him. Look at everything He has done for us and His own Son died for us, so having problems like this is completely uncalled for.  When I think of how pure and loving God is , how can I even think the kind of stuff I do. It is a lack of something for sure. I need to know what that lack is, because I'm going crazy here.
                         I'm sorry to all my friends for freaking out.  This battle never seems to end. I'm tired and want to be happy for a little while. Is there ever any peace. I need it . Somedays I feel like I could sleep for a month and still not feel rested.   I'll stop with the bellyaching.  I have to thank God for taking that horrible pain out of my legs and lower back.  I praise Him for that.    I have a lot of negativity today, sorry I hope tomorrow will be a better day.   I think I'd better go back to the hole I crawled out of . : )
                          Hoping for a better day.

gvyoder: Random Thoughts

gvyoder: Random Thoughts: "Another morning, awoke to the phone ringing. Thanks to my dear papa when he was living, liked the convenience of a phone at ev..."

Random Thoughts

Another morning, awoke to the phone ringing. Thanks to  my dear papa when he was living,  liked the convenience of a phone at every turn. Not only is there a phone placed about six feet apart, they are equipped with ringers that are deafening .   So early morning call are very welcome.  My sister calls and laughs at me because my brain doesn't function well and speech reflects that.            So the morning is off to a running start.   Heard from a friend this morning thats going through a hard time and really needs our prayers.  Now I realize how good I have it, yes my life is a bit boring, and yes I live like I'm 70 instead of 50. But overall I have it pretty good. We tend to forget about all the people that are hurting and I don't mean a little. I'm talking about the ones who have to live minute by minute relying on God to help them  just to make it through the day. How can I help them more. I tend to try to say the right things to help them feel better and then say a little prayer and go on my way. I don't think thats right. Why is it so hard to just drop things and say I'm here to help you with what ever you need for today. If thats not appropriate what about really seriously crying out to God on their behalf.             Thinking about what I was learning about prayer , God wants me to pray for others and to help Him release His blessings on them . Of course now I'm back to trying to know Gods will.   I was reading  the other day about Mary the mother of Jesus.  In John 2:1-10 or 12  I was just amazed at how Mary made her request. When she found out they were out of wine she didn't go to Jesus in a fluster and tell Him what He needed to do. Nope all she said is they have no wine.  Simple confident statement. No directions or words of advice and no begging. Jesus tells her "what do I have to do with you" and she didn't hesitate,to go ahead  in complete faith that Jesus would solve the problem . She tells the servants to do what ever  Jesus told them. I find that absolutely amazing . Why can't my prayers be the same. Just state the need to God . I dont need to give Him a full prescription request. No just a simple request in Hs will and He will answer.   I need to trust. Where is my faith ?          Like the title says random thoughts,  I was also thinking back over the last few blogs. And the one about it being hard to pray. I came to the conclusion in that blog that without love and the presence of unforgiveness or bitterness in prayer is a hinderance to God hearing us.  That night I was up most of the night asking God to forgive my bitterness and lack of love. I asked Him to help me rid that out of my life. HE DID .......He really did help me get rid of the horrible feelings of bitterness. Up to this point I had woke up every morning for more than a month with excruciating pain in my legs and back. I was living on pain pills. What happened that night totally negated the pain I was having. How I don't know. Miracle? I don't know but I thank God for giving me relief.  I actually didn't realize it until a couple days later. So I let it go for a while thinking maybe it was going to come back . Praise God it hasn't.   Is there a connection between pain and bitterness. I don't know but its gone and I  feel like a different person.                            If any of you have experiences like that I would love to hear them. Once I get through the prayer study I want to look at bitterness and forgiveness and see the benefits and consequences to each of them.                 Well I completely just rambled on and on today  I'll try to do better.  Have a great day

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Basis of Prayer? Is it more than just talking to God

Last week I was going to write out this long essay on what I thought the basis of prayer was , I tried twice to write it out and both times I felt  like it wasn't what God wanted. So I'm still here at the starting line, revving my engine but don't really know which direction I'm racing towards.
                            My first thinking was that God wanted us to pray to Him to express our love and devotion to Him and to ask Him for things we need.  I still think that is true to a point but I'm thinking there is more. Why are we commanded to pray. If God knows our thought, knows our actions, and knows our needs before we do, why is it necessary for us to pray ? If we pray to Him always like he says " pray without ceasing", we know He will answer according to His will . Its says in Prov.19:21 Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.  To me thats saying we can have all sorts of plans but if they don't  align themselves with God's will our prayers are not going to be answered they way we think or plan.   God's plan and purpose for our lives here on earth are foremost not what we think we need or want.
                What was Gods plan for man, it says in Gen 1 :26-29 that God put man on the earth and said we will make man in our image and let them have dominion over the earth .  Ps 8:6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet.    Ps 115:16  The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth he has given to man.
                    Seems to me that God made man to be the ruler, caretaker, or overseer of the earth. God didn't say let us have dominion over the earth, no He said let them "man" have dominion.  Man was created , given dominion or full authority over the earthly realm and God will not supercede that authority.  By God doing this, men and women are essential for the accomplishment of God's plans and purposes on earth.
                                 Simply put , God's plan is for man to desire what He desires , to will what God wills and to ask Him to accomplish His purposes on earth . We could say that prayer is man giving God the freedom to intervene in earths affairs.   1 John 5:14   This is the confidence we have in approaching God ; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.    Mat. 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. When we align ourselves with God's will through the washing of His word , our prayers will release God's power on earth . Prayer is calling forth what God has already purposed and predestinated.  I know there is a verse somewhere that says something to the effect that our prayers are already answered we just need to release them. But I can't find it. Maybe not ?
                 "When we pray in His will  all that God is and all that God has can be received  through prayer." Monroe.     Does anyone realize what that means . I do but have way to small of faith to even comprehend it.      That's my idea for the basis of prayer.  God gave the authority on earth , by prayer we release His power on earth. With out  our prayers God will not intervene in the affairs of the earth . So even if God know what we think and need He needs us to pray to release His blessing to us.
                       My condensed version of only the" basis for prayer" there is tons more as far as knowing Gods will, praising and worshipping and communion with Him.   I'm I right,  wrong , off my rocker , crazy, don't be scared , tell me what you think.  I appreciate scripture to back up your thoughts.
    Praying to understand better the reasons for praying  

Mornings my favorite time

Woke up today feeling like I had eaten my pillow. My mouth was dry my nose felt like it was moved a couple inches to the left and my dog Snooky wouldn't come anywhere close to me. Awe yeah, its going to b a great day!
                    Seriously I think it has now rained for more than a month straight which helps so much with my love of life and joy I feel for the new day. I can't even get my dog to go outside to go potty. He walks to the door looks out at the rain, turns and beats feet back to his bed.  I don't blame him really. Glad my bathroom is inside otherwise I might end up with an enlarged bladder.  I'm feeling a little negative this morning. Possibly need another pot of coffee , you know the special brand we buy at a discount at Walmart. I love a good cup of coffee and thats not it.
                           Maybe I shouldn't write in the morning because I just read over what I wrote, wow I'm just a bundle of joy. Note to all my friends early morning calls usually receive a warm welcome and I'm very talkative . ha
                         So today I'm  planning on working at my new business. I need to be happy and upbeat , with no signs of negativity. Seems I'm the perfect candidate for that. I'm a bundle of joy and energy. Trust me its all about the vision.  No really if I got up each morning without a vision or goal I would never get anywhere. Then I have to be sure that all my goals include my Lord.  Because as you can tell I need Him everyday in the worst way. Think what a joy I would be with out Him.
                    So they tell me in my business that out of 12 people I talk to 1 will say yes. I need to up that figure to 12 for 12. Because I just don't have the patience . I'm think physical force meet be a good option. You know sign here or meet my little friend billy the club. Maybe not such a good idea. Oh well its the thought that counts . Sales can be tough but they pay off very well, so Im going for it. If anyone is good at sales and wants to make good money email me. I promise I'm just a wonderful person to work with. : )   Like the way I worked a little sales pitch in there.   Almost subliminal.    Always wondered if that would work Isell)  you know (sell) doing subliminal messaging (sell) as you were(sell) talking to people(sell).  If You (sell) have ever (sell) had that done (sell) to you (sell) let me know(sell) and how it (sell) affected you (sell).  Seems like (sell) an interesting (sell) concept (sell) (sell) (sell)    Sorry my sell button got stuck  : )
                      Im off for the day , going to see what I can accomplish .     Later

Sundays My brain got stuck in neutral

Here I am again, was going to write about prayer but feel God stopped me because I get excited and write before I have all the facts. My internet died for about six hours today, so spent time studying.                   Has any one else moved home with their mom or dad to help care for them.  Wow  can I say big adjustment. I can't remember the last time I got step by step instructions for each and every move I make. Don't get me wrong I love my mother very much"bless her heart" but we are going to have to learn to ease up a little on the demands.   I'm learning the true meanings of different questions.  If you're asked to just help set up the quilt stands , that doesn't mean a one minute proceedure erecting the quilt stand , no that means three to four hours of relentless sewing , cutting , and knotting , that way its almost finished,  when the specially invited guests come and cut and knot a couple strings and receive the atta boys, slaps on the back, and gasps of delight for all their hard work. Or just a mention of some sort of dirt or smudge on the floor doesn't mean that you walk by and are noticeably upset with the filth on the floor. Nope thats not what it means, that means get a bucket of water that is at least 180 degrees to where it blisters the skin quickly and add lots of soap, the one that is suitiable for the floor of course, then with the specially chosen rag you get down on all fours and wash the floor.      OOhh I have another one, if you receive a plate or bowel of some sort of food product , and are told its reallllllly goooood .  Might be good to beware. I can honestly  say it was really good I was close to the toilet.  Not sure what it was but its possible it tried to crawl back out on its own.
           I've been taking notice also that my mom and I have quite a lot in common. By the time I hit 70 clear the way , afraid things might not be real pretty.
            I really do love my mom and she does get harrassed a lot. I believe that it's my job. : )  She always seems to have a way of getting back at me though. Tuesday is her birthday and my sis and I  are throwing her a little  tea party . So we'll be busy making all kinds of little gourmet bites . Sweets and savory things. And tea of course. Anyone know a really goood tea I could serve ? I don't know teas very well.  
                           This is what happens when my brain is in neutral to long. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to write something worthwhile.       Hope your week is full

gvyoder: 2011 So now what?

gvyoder: 2011 So now what?: "Hi everyone , its 2011 not sure what possessed me to write and tell all you wonderful people about my life and all my problems ...."

Is it hard for you to pray ?

Honestly is it hard for you to pray?   No problem for me . Kidding. I have an awful time with prayer.   Why ?  I'm not sure. If I kneel to pray you can bet with in a few minutes I'm sound asleep or laying on the floor because my knees hurt so bad.   Seems like a lot of people I have talked to say its hard for them to pray.   When I pray I always feel like I say the same things like dear Lord bless so and so and bless his brother and help his other brother. No really do you know what I mean. There has to be more to prayer than that.  Where is my emotions, my love , my empathy. Am I really that cold hearted and unemotional.  Possibly.   If I am  why?   How do you change that and learn to pray like our life and others lives depend on it.   Because they do. If God showed me the same amount of love I show other people I'm afraid my life would be over.  

                   I need to learn what love is, I'm sure of that. So do we have to follow all these teachings of 'you need to love yourself before you can love others" Is that a manmade rule or is that a Biblical principal ?

Then I'm sure that if I prayed and things happened just like that, it would put a different light on prayer and I would pray all the time . But  I don't think God is here as some sort of magical wish granter either. 

                     Let me organize my thought here,  Why are we supposed to pray?    If God is sovereign and knows our thoughts before we pray what is the need for prayer ?  If we don't approach God correctly does He still hear our prayers?  What if we don't have enough faith ?  If we have sin in our life does He still here our prayer?   I have more but I'm starting to confuse myself . ha    

                         To tell you the truth this all start about a month ago. I would get up each day say a little prayer to God of basically the same thing each day.  Then I would study my Bible for an hour or two and go on my way. Was I full of happiness and joy. No . I realized that each day I got up and tried my very hardest not to sin but what for. Was it because I loved God so much. Sadly No...... The  only thing that kept me from doing whatever I felt was fear.  There is problem number 1 . I don't think any relationship based totally on fear is a good one or correct for that matter. That leaves me realizing that almost two years as a christian and I don't know how to love . Fear ?  No problem . Love don't know. Then on top of that we have not forgiving  and bitter. I'm not sure where the verse is right now but it says if we don't forgive God doesn't forgive us.  I have a lot of problems in this area to . I have years and years of bitterness all pent up inside me. No wonder I had a heart attack.  Bitterness? Lets talk about that another day. Its a big subject and I need to know how other people deal with it. 

                     Now after all that is said I look at it and it's very obvious why my prayers are not answered. Now I understand why God wants me to write this all out. I'm sitting here with my mouth open seeing why God isn't answering my prayers. I have thought some of this through but tonight it just hit home why I was so depressed and feel God isn't listening to me. I have been working on the bitterness thing but forgiveness and love , what about them?  Well there you have it then  I have just completely convicted myself by telling you about me .  Nice  thank you all so much   Seriously I know what God wants from me now.  I would love to hear someone elses thoughts.  Next time I'll try to start finding scriptures that help me understand all of this. Please let's all pray for each other that we can learn how to pray better or more in line with God's will. Think about Jesus and His disciples . After all the miracle He did their request to Him was teach us to pray. If we want to see God's power released on earth we better get honest with ourselves and others , and learn to love like our God does. Help me get started. Let pray for the answers God will give them to us.   If we want people to be healed , if we wanted satan to be conquered,  if we truly want God 's power released here on earth I believe we have to pray like never before.  Tonight I'm praying that the Lord will cleanse my heart from all this bitterness  and that He'll help me forgive.   I'm gonna go , sorry I kind of fell apart at the end here.     

2011 So now what?

Hi everyone , its 2011  not sure what possessed me to write and tell all you wonderful people about my  life and all my problems . Maybe its just a way for me to get it out of my system.
First of all I want to be clear with everyone that, I am a born again believer now. Honestly I used to scoff at people like me.  I understand now that without help from God's Spirit we will never feel God's call to us. I've known many people who have said they don't believe in a God yet when they are truly faced with death and no God, it can be a life changing experience.  So to all you people who are tough and say there is no God , I really don't believe you.
Sorry I have a way of going out on a tangent and getting lost.   I have decided to write this year to hold myself accountable to the 2 people in my audience,  and to learn from other people. Its not because I'm proud of my life or want attention . I want to keep an open mind and learn from others as long as they agree with me, of course. : )
I have three main goals this years  1. To learn the true meaning of God's love and how to pray.  2. Rebuild my health. A couple of years ago I almost died from a heart attack. Since then I haven't been drunk or smoked.  Needless to say I have gain a large quantity of unwanted  , lets see how would you say it nicely, FAT, BLUBBER, COTTAGE CHEESE.  Ok so you have the big ugly picture.   From size 36 to 44 in two years. Now thats healthy.   70 pounds  thats right I'm telling you all 70 pounds . If I would lay down on the beach coast guard would dispatch whale removal units.  Yes I have to exercise, but I have a bad heart, bad back, bad knees, and occasionally my brain short circuits and I have panic attacks.   Seriously I think there are people in the hospital in better shape than me. : )    Oh yes number 3 To build a good business with a income of at least 5000 a month in the first year.    Only way to do that is in marketing . I'll let you know how it is going.  I'm meeting with a guy on the 12th of Jan that has been in it around 4 years and he is making over 60 grand a month . He is going to personally help me and my team get going . Yeehaa  I'm seeing 5000 a month as easily doable.
Sorry this blog is  my first so I'm just learning and so hang out with me once or twice a week and lets get some good discussions going.     If you have suggestions about what you want to discuss let me know . Until next time